intricate life of GTR

Why?

2011-12-11T16:14:00.000+08:00

After so many years, and though i didnt get the answer that i wanted to know all along.
but i now tell myself i should care about whatever that is concerning u, nor u talking abt me.
u didnt care about me at all, so why should i?
i somewhat managed to delete my memory of u and me. nw it's only me, over the past few yrs.
even if others talk abt u, i would say, erm, sorry but do i noe her?
im not lying tho, i really forgot the times tat we were tgt.
but it is better that way, at least i wont feel betrayed.
and oso i wont have the feeling of lost, as becos of u, it made me lost a few of my friends.
and tat's not it, it's totally unfair. but i dunno how to explain.
it has all alr ended yrs ago, i should have just let it go..
i really dunno which is the real u.
and becos of it, i lost u, but im fine with it.
just tat i wont have another r/s till the day when someone really can prove tat tis world isnt tat bad aft all.

but i'll still keep this blog, alive. but idk the reason why. as it's alr meaningless.

2011-03-16T16:29:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I dun even understand myself, for the things I've done to myself and others..
Some of my friends said tat I'm so emo sometimes, which I oso dunno why I'm like tat..
Just edited a post from the past..
But I've yet to know who dumped who..
U sent me the msg, we game over our relationship..
I'm still feeling loss of u, and wanting u to be back with me..
But what's the point? U have been with so many ppl lo.. Seems tat I'm nth to u at all..
Shouldn't have loved u so deep. Tat caused me to fall really hard tat I doubt I'll be able to stand up again..
It's alr for 2 years and more, and I still rmb the times we were tgt, like as tho it happened ytd.
Aft u, I will nvr get another girl, unless thr's a miracle, tat makes my heart move.

2011-03-16T12:14:00.000+08:00

haizx..
i really dunno why i'm spending my time on tis place called earth,
it's getting real bored, without any thing tat entice me, although thr r technology advances.
i'm tired of my lifestyle and almost everything around me.
why cant i just live a life like most youths, no worries and stress, playing all day long for their vacation.
maybe cos i'm alr old, and not categorize as a youth even when i'm just 18.
life is really torturing me, for all the things tat has happened to me. =x

2011-03-16T12:08:00.000+08:00

gambling is an addiction, but i just cant stop myself from gambling.
who doesnt wants to be rich fast??
for nw, i dun have any companion with me, i need cash to be my best friend, but
i just cant get it as well. hard-earned money is easily spent within days..
and tho i'm not wtih my friends, i still spent a lot.
all i want is to meet new friends, friends tat would be tgt no matter wat.
but i doubt it would ever happen.
despite i'm in 21 century, i dont play computer games.
so how am i suppose to find a friend, tat doesnt have a hobby as computer games.
argh.. living on this earth is so unpredictable, and so boring. nth seems great to me nw, tho technology has become so advanced. which i find its a bad thing, and not a gd one.

2011-03-10T11:51:00.000+08:00

what have i done wrong??
creating a chalet, when almost 20 ppl have agreed.
then when its booked, and the price is set, everyone starts to back fire.
noe get get the hardest pinch, my hard earned money is soon goin into the drain.
charging ppl 20 dollars for the nite, they say its too ex.
the situation is tat thr's only 14-18 ppl attending.
and its not even enough for me to cover all costs alr.
i made my effort to lower the price which means more loss for myself.
yet alot of ppl still doesnt wan to attend it.
let me take it as a loss when i placed a bet in the stocks.
and unfortunately the company crashed, just like wat i'm experiencing right now.
i once have a class of 40 ppl, and nw wat i've got is just less than 18 ppl who have agreed to go, and they are still backing out. i seriously got no idea, why such a mess is happening to me.
no companionship, nobody whom i can really trust.
and i'm nvr gonna be myself again. i'll always act out a different me, making ppl think i'm fine.
but i have suffered a million scars throughout the years i have lived on this idoitic earth.
whr ppl have lost their compassion for others.
all i could do is wait for the gd to arrive, but its like it will nvr happen.
i destroyed many of the wonderful things in my life,
so i guess this is wat i'm suppose to suffer nw, (karma)..
i shall suffer till i cant take it, and end my life asap.
even my funeral, i believe, no one will come down to visit.
they are all busy with their personal things probably money? relationship? and their closer friends.
which i alr have lost.
hopefully, in poly i can find wat true friends are, and the buddies whr we could be dependant on one another.
but time is ticking real slow for me nw. whr my vacation seems to be forever.

2011-01-18T11:42:00.000+08:00

working all ady, during my this long vacation.
feel like hanging out with friends, but all are almost obsessed with working.
no contact to so many of my friends alr.
brrr...
i'm gonna change my mobile no. soon.
and hope i could find more companions.
my life is so plain.. no colours and special occasions to brighten it up.

2011-01-12T19:50:00.000+08:00

i think i'm extremely lifeless right now.
i'm a liviong dead person.
i doubt i even have sense
lost contact with all friends alr.
and busy working all day long.
i seemed to have a 'no contact' policy, but i dun.
i just feel unsatisfied in my life.
everything isnt in the way i whope it could be like. it's all in the reverse manner.

2010-04-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

a sudden revive to my old blog
Zzz
O lvl are killing me
if i could take my O's few years ltr
tat would be great
but long pain
my as well short pain
so it's btr to take it tis year
then aft completing the exams
try to do all my best
then try to get gd grades
aft skooling,
i'll definitely go out till
i get crazy
or i will still get crazy for locking myself as home
like as if i having probation
zzz
tis year is juz not a gd year for me
:'(

2009-12-19T16:29:00.001+08:00

sianzx..
totally dun feel like goin back tanglin to study le..
i got quite a gd results for N lvl though..
but i still think tat taking the subsidise from government better..
cos at least one month can get free money for abt 700 dollars leh..
if i one month can get so much cash for studying in sec 5, i dun mind sia..
but i definitely spend more in sec5 than saving de.. =.=
plus next year i sure got lesser friends in the class..
even though all still like the same friends of before..
but i doubt i will communicate or be gd friends with them..
ytd before goin to skool to collect results, went to buy a packet of marlboro ice blast..
though i wanted to quit smoking le.. but taking results very stress leh..
the only way is to smoke.. to release my stress..
haizx..
nvr get any gd grades for mtl..
think i only can get gd for other subjects but not language..
language sucks mann.. how study still wont improve de.. =.=
the fucking thing i hate is..
thr's an idiot who got grade 3 for maths.. and keeps saying abt it..
so wat if it's grade 3..
and plus ytd at billiard centre, i only ask u to get cash from parents..
i NVR say u must get 50 bucks from ur dad..
which part of the sentence u dun understand?
sua.. i dun mind not having such a friend like u..
but rmb, wat u owe me in cash, u better return..
things u owe me in life, will nvr be refundable..
then ytd play billiard lastly i pay the most 11.80..
i pay 11..
wat the hell? u no cash ah, cant kup cash tgt meh?
nvm.. it's the last time i'm seeing u.. so i hack care
so wat if i lose such a friend, it wont make any difference to me..Zzz
nw i noe wat's call "nvr judge a book by its cover"
it told me not to make friends juz to see his or her appearance..
nw wat matter most is 人的心肠..
if bad hearted and bad mouthed.. is like a piece of shit..
no point having tis kind of friend.. =.=
i goin back tanglin, juz becos my parents wants me to..
and so i tahan for 1 fucking bloody year..
facing an idiot in my class..Zzz

2009-12-09T21:14:00.001+08:00

so bored..
haizx.. i dun find any fun working in ntuc.. =x
it's super duper boring.. >.<
nth is challenging thr, i guess..
thr's only putting of stocks, getting of stocks..
and arranging of stocks..
very de sian sia..
if all friends work tgt, should be wont sian le bah..
last monday wanted to ask her for lunch..
but i got a lousy mouth, i can only quarrel with her..
busted the last chance, which i dun even noe abt..
haizx.. my temper is all along kns..
though i have alr change a bit.. only to my family members..
if change for friends, oso for nth..
friends only are thr when thr's gd thing for them
then when bad things or troublesome things come, they will go mia..
Zzz.. i dun think thr's gd/best friends to be by my side..
all are juz temporary friends.. =.=
dorts.. i find tat i cant bond with all the friends lo..
sua.. find new friends, better.. Zzz
And, shihui, u say today tell me when u free de wor,
nw alr 9pm le.. u haven even tell me..
sianzx.. i haven go for pool session for weeks..
plus i nw almost everyday oso nvr smoke le.. =.=
buay tahan lor.. smoking is an addiction, but i control for so long le..
hope can control till quit.. =x
nw i dun even noe my schedule for working in ntuc..
it's like i dun get the bond working tgt with them.. =.=
goin to rest lo.. hope tmr no nid work..
btw, whr's seoul garden???
i tmr then can confirm if i goin for the cY bd celebration thing.. =x

2009-12-09T20:33:00.002+08:00

illegal parking at disabled lots meant for the disabled.. !!!

2009-12-04T21:31:00.001+08:00

lol..
thks for pei-ing me msg tis few days wor, sheila..
haha
bet u got unlimited msg.. or u wont waste it on me lo.. haha
cant believe u can stay home for the whole day sia.. =x
dorts..
i resigned from west caost plaza de jap shop le..
haizx.. tis month only earn a little cash..
btw, idk when is ming chong gonna transfer me the cash.. Zz
i nid the cash asap..
sianzx..
20 dec, got st james event..
but i doubt i could attend..
cos i needa sell books to those sec 1.. on 21 dec..
if i go, i sure buai thong for the next day de.. plus is from 4 pm to 4am wor..
haizx.. need save money lo..
cant be spending it like tapwater flowing out water.. =x
i'm getting edusave scholarship next year.. YaY..
but dunno my results will allow me to go sec 5 anot leh.. =x
if cant go sec 5, then quit studying lo.. haizx
studying is so tough, and i cant get paid for studying daily.. =.=
bored to death sia..
nw everytime work, then go home..
go home le, then seldom go out le..
next week chuan yong birthday le..
its like finally.. haha
we alr 16, nw only waiting for him to get old.. lol
next week i wan go sit the ferris wheel, but dun think any friends are free.. =x
sianzx.. chuan yong sure no nid me to pei him celebrate his bd lo..
he got hong xiu by his side.. =x
oh btw, ytd i went to watch couples retreat..
the show damn funny..
talking abt weird couples having weird attitude problems..
and many more shit in their live..
quite a nice movie though..
and the week before, i got myself a samsung jet..
aft upgrading my singtel mobile plan..
the phone still cost a bomb to me.. =x
i damn long nvr play pool le..
all skills gone.. =x haizx

2009-11-21T23:28:00.001+08:00

fucked up lah..
i'm sick again, i hate being sick, especially during holidays.. =x
haizx..
no one to accompany me during holidays..
plus nw i sick, no shoulder to lie on.. =x
i wan to recover asap..
before i cant tolerate my sickness.. Zzz
all friends busy.. sobs sobs
some working..
some lost contact?
some i not interested to hang out..
i nid to quit smoking!!
but it's juz an addiction tat i juz cant stop..
but i'm trying my best to quit le..
by dec, i must nvr touch a single stick of cigg..
how i wish thr's someone by my side to care abt me and control me..
haizx..
nw say, like too late lo..
my life is filled with working..
how to find a partner.. zZz
haizx..
nw i better concentrate on keeping my body healthy..
if not got everything oso hopeless
tiring.. Zzz
gotta rest le..
nites..

2009-11-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

dorts..
juz came back from working in WWSS..
today shiting oso came to work..
unfair.. she wear home clothe, but i wear uniform..
was late when i arrived at WWSS
today was the first day of sales for the students thr..
but not much ppl came down to buy their books..
then went home by bus 172, then 30, then 189
cos i went to WCP..
saw marshall.. smoking..
then andy was thr cleaning the glass panel..
diaozx.. tat glass panel oso not dirty de..
but bo pian, he working, boss say clean.. he nid clean..
at first he wanted to resign? but nw he continued to work (full time server).. lol
oso heard tat cheryl resigned.. sobs sobs..
nw thr de ppl so many resign le..
today i saw a new person, but he oso gonna resign today..
only work two days, and he alr buay tahan.. Zzz
no stamina de.. haha
cant blame him, working thr,
is very tiring de.. is like one person nid to work alot of ppl de job..
bsbh.. (bao shua bao hai), meaning to do everything, though it's not included in ur pay.. lol
oh ya, aft cheryl resign, guess kitchen crew cant talk nonsense bout me and her le bah.. =x
i definitely must quit smoking.. if not i will have chemicals in my lungs.. (>.<)
sianzx.. tmr nid to go back skool..
it's to collect a cert bah??
but i wan to work de lor..
and tmr is the grand opening of my working place in WCP..
zzz, no chance to see their opening..
cos i nid to work at WWSS again.. =x
how i wish i could be watching the lion dance performance at the shop tmr.. :(
shua.. dun think of anything.. ltr i still nid to go wcp to work de.. =x
quite tired lo.. but nid earn money..
cos i wan to have lots of savings.. then next time got no prob with cash..
and with cash, starting a family wouldnt be a prob.. lol =x
gotta get change and proceed to working again..
............................................................................

outdated photos taken with friends

2009-11-09T00:13:00.000+08:00

417 days without you.. :'(

2009-11-09T00:03:00.000+08:00

life's gettting worse and worse..
days without u is really boring..
colourless life.. =x
today i only touched 5 cigarettes..
very big improvement le.. =x
today actually no nid work de..
but morning office called up and ask me go work
if u got go thr eat, i confirm serve u de.. =x
but think u oso not free to eat thr.. :(
haizx.. i'm talking something.. tat i dun think i will say out.. =x
tired tired tired...
today got nth special happen in my life..
is still as usual..
getting bored with my daily life..
if u alr noe so many things abt me,
do u still have feelings? zzz
nw i'm getting lots of question out of my mind..
=.=
sleeping times up..
i'm gonna rest.. good night.. sweet dreams.. =x

2009-11-08T00:03:00.001+08:00

juz got back from work today..
sianzx..
all ppl in live@teppan change le..
and i dun even have any topic to talk with them..
working thr is getting so boring..
how i wish i could have someone to be with me, whenever i feel bored.. =x
but confirm no one will sacrifice time on me de.. i oso not any rich person, and i oso not attractive.. :(
haizx.. if nw i got stead, confirm cherish every second lo.. i cant take loneliness life alr.. ARGH..
cherish everything around one self, before getting to regret wat u didnt have cherish before..
oh ya, i ytd went out with cy, bc, they all for steamboat buffet..
cant eat at all.. thr de food not nice de..
then went to west coast rc.. thr de billiard saloon full house lo..
but luckily i got to play, or i definitely will xin yang yang derz.. =x
then aft tat went home and got online..
and saw a instant msg from her..
the video was abt smoking.. aft watching tat video, i think i will slowly cut down and then quit..
if not i die of excessive chemical poisoning.. zzz
she still care abt me bah, if not she wont send tat video to tell me abt the consequences of smoking heavily..
lol.. or maybe she cares abt almost everyone? =x
then last night liting oso telling me tat, 喜欢一个人，就承认吧。=x
dont beat about the bush.. =x
then i totally sian diao.. then i tell her damn lot of nonsense..
soon.. i gotta rest.. thus i offline and went to bed..
then today woke up at around 9am..
at first wan play bball with the rest de..
but they keep changing time..
so i went out with my aunt to eat UNCLE SAM..
eat until 50 dollars ++..
then i got a ViP card from them.. which only valid for 1 year
aft tat went home and did some laundry..
again bc called me up.. so i went to his house for a mahjong session..
i dun noe how to hu or watever.. only nw how to peng or chi..
i mcm bai chi.. =x
abt 4pm i went home and got ready to prepare to work..
damn sian, aft working..
i am definitely gonna stop smoking.. in order to save money and to be healthy..
tmr idk wat to do during noon..
so boring.. everyone is so busy tat, maybe they alr forgotten tat thr's still a gabriel in SG.. :'(
haizx.. i'm like an invincible person.. all friends nvr contact me.. and i nvr contact them
think i'm goin the mia(missing in action) way..
sobs sobs..
with me or without me.. it doesnt make any difference to anyone.. =.=
gonna sleep like a pig le.. nites.. sleep tight.. sweetdreamms..

2009-10-29T10:19:00.003+08:00

worked at live@teppan for abt 19 days le bah..
i'm gonna resign soon..
cos i have to work at westwood sec bookshop..
though the pay lower than nw..
but least the work not so tiring.. =x
days are so boring without hanging out..
sianzx..
ytd lao ban niang bought me a packet of next chill..
then i smoke a few then pass it to cheryl, since she goin out with her friends..
got cigg, she can share with them.. lol =x
then the day before ytd, lao ban niang oso buy for me next chill..
paiseh wor.. nvr pay u back cash de.. and some more 2 days consistent ask u buy.. =x
26 oct, i finished the whole pack of next chill..
27 oct, took only a few to smoke..
how i wish i could really quit smoking..
Zzzz
shaggg..
13 nov, still nid go back skool.. for the graduation thing..
waste time only..
nw then i realize my life super de meaningless..
nth meaningful have really happen in my life..
and i have no achievements at all..
wasted the whole 16 years of my life..
gotta learn to cherish the other days tat i could survive,
and do smt meaningful and with some achievements.. =x
i dun plan things before i do..
i do things le, then regret wat i've done.. =x
zzz
stupid me..
shit la, my english standard goin kns le..
sobs sobs..
how i wish Sg got singlish.. i confirm can pass de..
and i trained a new runner at live@teppan, his name is chin hee..
weird boy, he dun smoke and hates the smell of it..
aft training him. i'm definitely goin off..
sayonara..
working in such job is really very tough.. especially working full time..
it's like u lost contact/communication with ur family and friends.. :(
goin back to sleep le.. dunno tmr still nid go work anot..
haizx.. boring..
my life is so boring(meaningless)

when things are in your hands, rmb to cherish it.. everything is important.. thus cherish everything

2009-10-13T10:46:00.002+08:00

tired sial..
hope i get use to working asap..
i nid to rmb menu..
noe how to serve, keep the cutlery..
and those table no. ..
thr's still more things to learn..
shaggg..
if i wasnt a newbie in F&B industry, i definitely can do it de..
Zzz
sua.. nw i gonna learn everything and do my best..
hope i got confidence and the faith to do everything in my job.. =x
bored..
idk when then can play pool again..
anyone playing pool, rmb jio me lei..
hey.. shi hui ah, u ask ppl from juehai when free,
then u organise one pool outing lor.. haha
zhi hong,
ps ah.. LIVE@TEPPAN , nvr employ ppl under the age of 16.. =x
but u can go try out NEWYORKNEWYORK.. cos they told me they are employing ppl around age 15..
but nid buy uniform..
haizx..
nw dun nid go skool, nvr meet friends lo..
is like i lost all the contacts of friends.. =.=
sianzx..
gonna buy black pants for work..

when things are in your hands, rmb to cherish it.. everything is important.. thus cherish everything..

2009-09-28T19:37:00.000+08:00

Sunday's meditation session finally ended at 6pm..
Phew...
tired mann..
then i went to my aunt's house for dinner..
watched the F1 show in her house..
halfway through, went home.
as my dad wanted to go home..
then packed my bag for skool today..
slept at abt 11pm..
woke up at 7am..
then proceeded to skool..
as per normal, skool lessons were boring..
i'm so getting sick of studying..
how i wish i dont need to study and yet money could fall from heaven.. ZzzZzZ
argh.. i'm talking crap..
took the packet of mealworms from noelle..
it was for my hamster.. (张宝贝) =x
changed my hamster's name for some reason..
aft skool went lunch with cy they all..
they gd, eating oso can talk until her name..
dorts.. sian diao..
then went pet's lover to look at hamsters, rabbit and pet foods..
went tgt with bc..
as his father fetched me to clementi..
while waiting for his dad, talk alot of nonsense with him..
reached home and had nth to do..
was rotting.. and cant get myself to do any homework or revision.. ZzzZzz
another 7 days to N's..
boring.. juz hope the paper would be easy..
then i am able to get gd grades.. =x

2009-09-26T16:53:00.006+08:00

i have blogged again aft 2 months.. =x

haizx..
told her abt my feelings..
cos i didnt want to beat about the bushes..
but i dunno wat was i doin..
my mind is just spinning.. spinning.. and spinning..
spin till i really dunno wat should i do?
those three brothers in my class are juz gonna make me go nuts..
i have been thinking, is there a possibility for someone to change?
and the past was too ... (idk how to describe)
thus, i think i am too dumb to even have feelings for her..
another few more days to go, and i am gonna have my N's lvl..
then i'm so not goin back skool..
i juz cant take it..
how i wished everything had never started..
argh..
not goin to think abt it anymore..
Zzz..
better erase my bad memories.. and get some new and better memories..
nw i'm goin lavender for my religious class..
nid to stay till sunday night, till i could come home.. =x

i need a new, fresh beginning for my life.. never gonna be nostalgic bout her.. it's intricate..

2009-07-26T18:57:00.000+08:00

haizx..
juz read someone's blog..
when a girl called me a dog..
and argh.. watever.. idk who u.. and i nvr give a shit bout u..
u wan say me dog say lor.
who give a damn to u.. Zz
i juz dont give a damn.. e-x-t-r-a..
extra shitty-ass..
u ah lian anot? i oso dun care..
wan call ur ah beng boyf tio me?
i tell u my skool..
tanglin sec..
my name gabriel, aka gay, gtr, gab..
i very scared lei.. faster call anyone to tio me lei.. call me dog de, bitch..
let me emphasize.., B-I-T-C-H.. zzZ
u are juz an extra.. A-S-S

2009-07-21T20:18:00.002+08:00

picture of my new hamster, (baby)..

shagged..

tired day..

early morning woke up, a little blur blur..

then totally dun feel like goin to skool..

but the classroom keys with me.. =x

thus i needa go to skool..

timetable of today, kns

btw, oso heard tat today jesmond single le.. Zz

argh.. relationship things are juz so complicated..

bet jesmond wont be single for long.. =x

then at 2.30pm had focus..

Social studies focus..

tiring like hell..

but still went pet's lover to buy bedding for my hamster..

nw i got myself two hamster..

one male, 'gaby'.

the other one female, 'baby'

at first bang cheng wan buy my tat 'gaby'..

but nw he cashless..

cant afford hamster..

haizx..

i noe my attitude sucks..（近朱者赤，近墨者黑）

i have discrimination..

as time goes, i will change.. Zz

and i dun nid ur comments..

'revenge', 'revenge', 'revenge'..

sick and tired of the word, revenge..

and i nvr wan a revenge.. dorts..

i am juz the way i'm nw..

despicable of myself..

during a maths..

jesmond told me her broke up with his gf lo..

then talk until geraldine tat side..

link until me, zinger..

even terence oso..

bo bian, a maths damn boring..

and class super humid..

haizx.. geraldine, u very kelian.. =x

aft ss focus,

went home,

and then changed the bedding of my hamster's cage..

also give them sand to bathe..

nw they smell so nice.. =x

again...

terence ah, wat happen?

say le, we are like real brothers(only when i single) Oops..

so u can share things with me de mah..

i will zipped my mouth.. and only other brothers will know..

and dun go skool late larh..

damn it..

how i wish i wasnt in my class..

and there was more than 24 hours/day..

oso memories to be washed away instantaneously.. =x

Aishiteru

Saranghaeyo

2009-07-18T15:20:00.004+08:00

haizx..
tired tired tired..
i'm totally exhausted with my life..
another 17 more days to N lvl prelims..
but i haven even start revision..
i'm dead.. i should be nonchalant of anything else nw except studies.. =x
yet, i still waste time playing and playing..
nw i nid save money,
then i can buy a hamster..
the molten winter white hamster..
nw only can save money, then can buy tat small little hamster..
shagg..
still got lots of homework i haven do..
plus, i put the lit paper in class..
cant even do passage b question 2.. Zz
anyone, can send me the question?? (^^)
days in skool are torturous..
almost everyday nid to stay back.. :(
oh ya, also another 16 days to my N lvl chinese oral le.. DIE..
haizx..
i'm so dead..
still got one more year to tahan.. (>.<)
Zz..
haizx.. today nvr go out with zhi hong to play bball..
then tonight oso not goin juehai..
my life is super messy.. i cant control my life procedure..
i'm always an impressionable kid.. argh..

[吃醋]，是因为喜欢
[生气]，是因为在乎
[发呆]，是因为想念
[伤心]，是因为不想失去

2009-07-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

omg..
i'm left with another 2 days left to my el oral le.. i'm in dead meat..
why time cant juz go slower a bit.. =x
last year, was so relaxing..
but tis year so stressed up..
and i've got no one to share my sorrows with.. :'(
haizx..
needa learn to live off my life alone..
without friends.. could be a gd thing too..
think more positive things.. haha
nw study is more important..
i cannot think of any other things..
i must make my studies stable le, then i can think of other things..
oh ya, juz nw i saw jesmond at blk 310 downstairs..
he was with his girlf.. lol..
wear until so handsome lei.. haha
nw i'm still at my aunt's house.. using her com to blog..
sianz.. tmr is a holiday to make up for today's youth day..
and tuesday i've to carry-on with my tiring lifestyle in skool..
and pls rmb bring 15 dollars, 4N1 students..
maybe dun nid to collect, but juz bring in case.. =x
gotta rest le.. yawns...
tired tired tired..

bear with the imperfection, which makes it perfect.. :)

2009-07-04T20:40:00.002+08:00

tiring week..
sianz..
next week is still gonna be the same thing again..
i'm totally tired..
who can spare me a shoulder to lie on? =x
another 3 more days to my N lvl El oral examination alr..
lucks everyone.. lol
btw, zhi hong, nw i not free to help u do ur blog thing..
u find others to help u bah.. or u wait till i free le, then i help u.. =x Sorry for the inconvenience caused.. haha
H1N1 really caused me alot of trouble..
why cant i juz rest a home.. i'm totalled and exhausted..
and last thurs was my 3 classmates' birthday..
helped them celebrated in class..
dun nid to thank me.. You're welcome.. =x
weekend become a day for me to try finish my homeworks..
haizx..
no one to pei me study.. boring till death.. Zzz
and i must tell myself, nvr to smoke again.. =x
why am i so vulnerable?, easily affected and influenced by others.. :'(
cut down on basketballing time and spend more time resting..
i nid lots lots of rest.. if not i confirm plus chop will tired till death..
today went out with cy, bc, nic and hx..
cy and hx, very sweet wor.. haha
wat a lovely couple, they are.. lol
i went off from pasir ris at 2.30pm
then went home to rest.. cant take it, very tired le, i nid to sleep..
guess i'm sure gonna be lonely during tis period of time till i end all my papers..
haizx.. sianz sianz.. 累/闷死我了。

需要的不多，想要的太多。

2009-06-28T11:59:00.003+08:00

today,,
woke up at around 9 plus..
my whole body is aching.. sianz..
if got massage chair, i wont be having so much ache lo..
i'm still tired..
slept at 12 mid nite ytd.. =x
went marketing with my mum..
carried a lot of things.. my hands are feeling so tired..
helped zhi hong put his music player into his blog..
then started blogging..
and checked my mail..
cant go out to woodlands today.. =x
juz can stay home and rest..
then ltr need pack my bag.. iron my uniform..
and then prepare my footwear..
last day of june holiday is today(28 june 2009) haizx.. ZzZZzz
i want extended holidays.. then i can play all i like..
go skool is a torture to me.. :(
yawns.. got to eat my lunch le..
boring boring boring..
sian 到爆炸...

yesterday is already history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift..

2009-06-28T11:41:00.003+08:00

27 June 2009, Saturday

ytd went to woodlands and played basketball right after i wake up and bath..
then took breakfast..
played with some other ppl thr..
and i dun noe, if they noe wat is call basketball playing.. =.=
play until like wan fight..
nvm..
u wan tio me.. come one by one..
i sure can settle de..
even tat super duper fat fat de..
idk how he eat until so fat..
still smoke somemore wor, ltr he die of so many kind of diseases even god oso cant save him..
in tis world thr shouldnt be such rubbish kind of person.. they are juz wasting the resources..
but got them, then can make until others tat are better..
and i must be calm to settle things..
a gentleman dun use fist to talk..
they use mouth..
aft tat..
went for lunch with reynard, zhi guang, zhi hong, chang han, yi hui, zhen xi and ?dexter? (idk how to spell his name)
aft tat, went to reynard's house to play his com..
juz nice, ms lai called up..
sian..
juz because of 1 H1N1 thing,
make until my life so miserable..
why cant we juz stop skool..
做人还真痛苦.. :(
aft tat, went down to have late lunch..
played basketball again.. then went up to reynard's house to change
and prepare to go hougang..
nid to wear long pants and go for someone's funeral..
took bus 911 to woodlands mrt station..
changed to circle line at bishan..
and changed to north east line at serangoon..
so tiring.
it took us abt 45 mins to reach thr..
then squeezed in a car to reach blk 328 of hougang..
my leg numb lo.. zhi hong ah, go slim down lah hor.. haha
(though u have almost the same weight as me..) :p
around 10 plus i then reached home..
from hougang take train to outram park, then change to clementi..
my leg stand until numb..

when people break promises, promises break them..

2009-06-23T17:06:00.002+08:00

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truely
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, i'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears i'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
Did it happen when we first kissed
Cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I shoulda never let you hold me baby
Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart
My mind is gone, i'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears i'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
How did I get here with you, i'll never know
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it showYou won't see me cry
This time was differentFelt like, I was just a victimAnd it cut me like a knifeWhen you walked out of my lifeNow i'm, in this conditionAnd i've, got all the symptomsOf a girl with a broken heartBut no matter what you'll never see me cry
This time was differentFelt like, I was just a victimAnd it cut me like a knifeWhen you walked out of my lifeNow i'm, in this conditionAnd i've, got all the symptomsOf a girl with a broken heartBut no matter what you'll never see me cry
All my life...

2009-06-23T17:02:00.002+08:00

(彈頭) 麥穗金黃了午風
湖泊藍色了天空
白牆詩意了巷弄咖啡爪哇了經過
田園浪漫了餐桌
而她
著急了等候
(Lara 宇豪) 在喬治亞最寧靜的現在
(其實)我想對某個女孩
(用不同的方式在尋找愛)說的愛
(用不同旋律來詮釋愛)而這世界最美麗的色塊
(也就)是椅子上那片留白
(妳會不會跟著這意外的節拍)為她存在
(說你願意為我留下來)
(合唱) 我愛妳這句話秘密了整個炎夏
那束玫瑰或許會悄悄的告訴她麻雀在庭院嘻鬧盛開的喬治亞
用愛情最羞澀的文法我愛妳這句話秘密了整個炎夏
那束玫瑰或許會悄悄的告訴她我愛妳這句話秘密了整個炎夏
我很想知道她的回答
(彈頭) 誰悄悄的告訴她
我一直在愛著她
☆ 間奏 ☆
(彈頭) 麥穗金黃了午風
湖泊藍色了天空
白牆詩意了巷弄咖啡爪哇了經過
田園浪漫了餐桌而她著急了等候
(Lara 宇豪) 在喬治亞最寧靜的現在
(其實)我想對某個女孩
(用不同的方式在尋找愛)說的愛
(用不同旋律來詮釋愛)而這世界最美麗的色塊
(也就)是椅子上那片留白
(妳會不會跟著這意外的節拍)為她存在
(說你願意為我留下來)
(合唱) 我愛妳這句話秘密了整個炎夏
那束玫瑰或許會悄悄的告訴她麻雀在庭院嘻鬧盛開的喬治亞
用愛情最羞澀的文法我愛妳這句話秘密了整個炎夏
那束玫瑰或許會悄悄的告訴她我愛妳這句話秘密了整個炎夏
我很想知道她的回答
(彈頭) HO 麥穗金黃藍色天空詩意了巷弄
午風咖啡爪哇浪漫餐桌田園經過
而她著急了等候

2009-06-14T21:38:00.002+08:00

i got back from my buddhist camp le..
thr's primary skool students and some elder ppl..
the best thing, my group has young ppl and old ppl, and i'm the only teenage at first..
but ltr chen xi(营长) came to help me..
cos i really got no idea of how to communicate with them..
during the camp, i wasnt with my phone at all..
and only receive a msg from home..
and a missed call from Bang cheng.. haizx.. no one miss me de.. :'(
but at least i got third for the whole camp, and thr's only four group.. =x
and my job were all last min.. buddha bless me mann.. if not i cant do it de wor.. aha
all the nights, i was sleeping peacefully. and had to wake up at 5 am..
only sunday which is today, woke up at 6am.. cos xiu xiu laoshi, gave us another hour to rest..
friday, saturday and sunday all got do 早课
then only friday and sat got 午课 and 晚课。
it's a total peaceful living thr..
and learnt the life of buddha when he was young again.
the best thing is, kitchen is all guys cooking..
they use xiu xiu laoshi de recipe to cook
then the food was so delicious.. lol
and i have got to help clean the fans which is so high up, tat i nid to climb up a ladder..
i cleaned the fans in the kitchen and knew the no. of fans in juehai xue fo zong xin..
thr's 14 fans in total.. :p
if i nvr count wrongly..
it ended at 6pm and i reached home at around 7pm..
the sad thing is i dun have photos of the camp.. :(
i bathed and went off to my aunt's house for dinner..
and nw i'm back home using my com.. gotta sleep le..
i'm an early sleeper.. i nid lots of rest.. yawns..
i miss everyone.. haha =x

2009-06-10T17:26:00.004+08:00

boring day again..
woke up today at 9 plus..
then i bathed and ate my breakfast..
aft tat,

i did my el hw..(compo)

so difficult..

cos is not the topic tat i will write for exams..

then went out for lunch with my dad..

he brought me to clementi ave 2..

had chicken chop noodle for lunch..

oso gave the junkaway some stuffs

tat my dad dun wan..

then walked around the place..

and saw a new bicycle shop..

thr de bike so nice lo..

suspension super gd de..

and tire oso use high quality de..

sure cost a few thousand dollars..

hope i can find someone who will buy it for me..

and oso i am waiting for my mum to upgrade my singtel plan..

my phone is alr giving me problems..

i need a new phone.. =x

nw i'm getting changed and goin to juehai..

today go le,

tmr still nid to stay overnight thr..

cos i scared i'll be late the next morning if i stay home..

tmr till sunday i'll be without my phone..

phoneless boy boy.. = gabriel teo rong tai

then sunday nite come home..

haizx..

tis whole holiday cant find ppl pei me de..

boring.. =x

goin off le.. mrt better move smoothly and fast.. =x

2009-06-09T19:48:00.007+08:00

was playing with the small minnie mouse!! i'm so childish.. =x

some outdated photos..
me and my mum.. taken during CNY'09..

me and my aunt..

smoking causes all tis.. so better quit if possible.. :)

last sunday's photo.. =x

(my cousin and me) =x i noe my eyes are small.. but i'm a kind and gd boy.. and i miss her.. still have feelings for her..

tis game cost 10 dollars and thrs only 3 tries..

if u are rich, u can even choose ppl to be dunked..

and is like wasting of cash.. but it's for charity..

so it's ok.. but very cruel lo, make ppl drop down water..

then the person still over thr laughing like nobody's business..

i saw a man who used 15o dollars to play tis game.. he got 45 tries..

and 4 different ppl drop down the water..

least i had fun making the small art piece tat idk how to put ily on sunday..

then she told me tat, can use toothpick to put de.. Zz

had a boring today..

off for dinner le.. (^.^;)

2009-06-09T19:31:00.002+08:00

morning wake up and went for El tuition..
i have got to do compo..
sianz.. wat the heck lo
i hate compo..
nid to use brain to think and write..
250 words some more wor..
write till hand numb lah..
holidays sux..
hope i could go overseas alone and enjoy the scenery thr..
but i am so busy during tis holiday..
nid to go for religious camp..
thurs nite goin thr to stay..
then fri i wont nid to rush thr like crazy..
haizx..
today, is a day tat i dun wish to have in every years calender..
if i could cancel away today's date and another day's date, it would be perfect..
but i'm not the creator of the world..
i can follow his way by having 365 1/4 days.. =x
if everyday was a holiday,
i guess my mind would blow up..
and i will not be living in tis world..
it's a torture for me to study and live in tis sick world.. Zz
and i have not been smoking for the past 11 days..
i swear, i wont touch drug anymore..
and dun drink liquor drinks..
if possible,
try to be a vegetarian..
but outside vegetarian food dun taste gd. =x
boredom..
ytd nite, i went with my mum
to the temple to listen to
some old man talking abt sutra..
he talk alot of things..
but the only thing i can rmb is
wat i've done bad,
will retribute back to myself..
and if i scold others it only will reflect to ownself..
it's better to 管好自己, than being busybody to other ppl's business..
i came to tis world alone, so i must learn to live it alone..
and is to find gd friends tat affect me, positively..
rather than finding bad friends tat affect me negatively..
i have to quieten down my heart..
and understand wats right and wrong..
and not keep being influence to do wrong things..
tat i dun even feel like myself..
还是做回自己好。
i'm preventing myself from scolding any vulgar language..
being a better person is so relax..

2009-06-08T18:35:00.002+08:00

tired tired tired..
woke up at 9am today.. early lei..
then went to jogging track to jog..
jog until i hungry..
so i went to temple at clementi ave 6
tot i could find sweets to eat..
but no sweet.. then i drink water..
prayed at the templed too..
then i saw zi qi ah ma..
she tot i was in another school..
but i am in the same skool as her grand daughter.. zZ
aft tat, i went to my dad's office..
followed him to the HDB office, blk 453 clementi ave 3..
cos some son of the bitch gave him fine..
when he parked at his handicap lot..
when we call to ask them fine others tat are not disabled..
they super slow..
then when catch us so fast..
but oso catch wrong de..
Zz..
still nid wait for the call, then can confirm no nid pay the fine..
stupid lo,..
then i went lunch at bukit batok alone..
super duper sian..
aft tat came home..
still got science hw i haven touch yet..
sianz..
and i tis fri still nid go lavender at 8am sharp..
reach tyrwhit road, #03-174..
walao eh, so early lo..
i still sleeping de wor..
but for my own gd, i better wake up early and go thr..
and tahan 3 days of vegetarian..
best is aft tat i continue to be vegetarian..
then less animals would be killed for ppl to consume..
做人要慈悲一点。
不要杀生。lol
wahh..
last yr de today i still not in sg lor..
then i no nid to help out so many things during tis few weeks..
haizx..
tired dao bao zha lo..
nid to rest le.. yawns..

2009-06-07T23:24:00.002+08:00

last time, she did it for me de.. ArIgAtO, thks..

today i done myself at the carnival in simei..

which one nicer? (mine)second one right.. =x

nw then i noe making one artwork so tough..

it takes a lot of patients and hard work..

and it's the thoughts tat matters.. lol

and it total took me 40 plus mins to do lor..

so tiring..

then i went down to juehai's stall to help out..

haizx..

dun wan to help oso cant.. =x

at least i sold some instant noodles,

biscuits,

nuts,

and drinks..

plus today weather so hot..

hot till i can die lor..

abt 5 plus,

pack up everything le..

then zhenxi ask me pei her to watch floorball at tampines sports hall..

super hot lor, at the sport hall inside..

but heng the match was quite nice,

or i'll sure sleep in the court..

even girls play floorball, oso so violent..

scary wor..

aft tat, i went home by train..

and bathed..

next fri morning, i am having 佛学营，

a camp from fri morning to sunday..

cant go out to play..

nvm.. less play and more learning..

got to pack my things,

then i wont be so rush when i need to go juehai on fri..

i'm goin sleep le. yawns..

june holidays made me lazy and i become sleepyhead..

like a pig.. Zzz

oink oink.. nites.. ZzZzzz..

2009-06-01T10:31:00.002+08:00

juz wake up..
nth to do today.. =x
then tmr nid go skool collect report book and those papers..
haizx..
my results arent as gd as before lo..
yawn..
wad should i do today??
eat, sleep, smoke, slack, play??
boring, boring boring..
cant think of anything to do..
and is like so boring day today..
tmr still got to go for ncc
sianz..
when is my passing out parade(pop)?
i hate goin for trainings..
especially tmr, tree top walk..
wat the heck lo..
i got height phobia,
i go thr do nth ah..
shagg..
and i 've been coughing,
maybe cos of addiction to cigarettes.. Zzz..
i really dun have the yi zhi li to quit smoking..
haizx.. and ytd i saw the news, saying tat
smoking causes lots of cancer.. =x

1Smoking - Side Effects Of Smoking

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wahh..
i think my lungs are as black as the roads lo..
haizx.. nvr tot tat smoking can cause so many rubbish to my body..
but alr started le, i can only slowly quit..
but when free time wat i can do to kill time..? =x
such a boring day..
argh..
i go sleep again..
wait till anyone call or msg me..
then i wake up..
yawns.. ZzZz

2009-06-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

2009-05-31T18:13:00.000+08:00

2009-05-31T16:55:00.002+08:00

so tired.
tired tired tired..
i juz wan to sleep..
nth else but sleep..
before i came home..
was at the chalet..
spent most of the time smoking.. =x
i really dunno why i would smoke so much..
though i wanted to quit for gd sake..
but cant resist the cigarette..
but i today whole day nvr smoke le..
so quite gd le bah..
so boring lo..
nth to do..
and holidays started alr..
hope i could find some place for myself to study..
i need to buck up for my N's
cant fail any subjects..
where gd to study? Zz
i total slept 18 hrs..
from 6 pm to 12pm the next day..
nw still feeling sleepy..
juz want to sleep again..
but i cannot sleep le, my mother sure kp.. =x
btw, anyone holiday free de..
pei me study lei.. i super duper sianz..
and those 'brother' all wont study de..
i can only study alone.. and its super boring de lorzx..
best is i got company to study and a gd place..
if not i sure play all the whole holiday lo..
studying, so boring..
but if i nvr study, i die in my mum's hand.. :\
argh..
tis tuesday nid to bring my mum to meet ms lai
then collect my report book..
hope for the best.. or i'll die..
haizx..
tis time exam, i really super slack.. but still can pass..
heng lo..
nw i should start study/revise..
then N should be a piece of cake.. (i hope so)
why cant i be a genius.. :(
then i can play, and still score high marks.. Zz
and today clementi pasar malam last day le lo..
must go jalan lo..
if not next pasar malam idk when then have.. =x

2009-05-25T19:19:00.006+08:00

南拳妈妈下雨天

下雨天了怎么办　

我好想你不敢打给你　

我找不到原因为什么失眠的声音　

变得好熟悉沉默的场景　

做你的代替　陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷 (疲惫)

谁和我一样　等不到他的谁

爱上你我总在学会　寂寞的滋味

一个人撑伞　一个人擦泪　一个人好累

怎样的雨　怎样的夜怎样的我能让你更想念

雨要多大　天要多黑

才能够有你的体贴

其实　没有我你分不清那些

彻别　接近还能多一些

别说你会难过　别说你想改变

被爱的人不用道歉

2009-05-25T19:06:00.002+08:00

i got to make myself stronger and nvr get hurt by bloody friends..
tat always bully me.. =x
train to be emotional shielded.. Zz
went lunch with Mr Tan E W..
with rach, sammie, hx, cy and bc..
went to blk 320, mr prata..
over thr tio suan..
all things can link to me.. (especially d..)
shagg..
if i got a shoulder to lie on it would be so great..
but i'm juz alone.. and no spare shoulders.. =x
and Mr Tan then noe tat my parents was physically disabled..
and it would be tough for me to handle studies, housework and helping out with my parents..
then talked abt other things lo..
had quite lots of fun with him..
hope my life could be always happy without any hurtful things..
how i wished i had someone by my side when i needed..
aft eating walked to another shop and Mr Tan
asked alot of question.. but nvr do any bookings..
then walked home to change.. then went off to clementi Cc
to play bball..
played till almost 5 plus goin 6..
so nw i'm home, gonna help out at the kitchen for dinner..
another three more days and i'm free from skool. :)
but heard from jesmond tat,
chairman is compulsary to attend the achievers' day.. ??
idk seh..
haizx..
results arent tat gd anymore..
i'm gonna buck up and put the rest to rest..
ignoring nonsense, and start my engine.. :P
haha
GTR on the go.. vroom.. lol
i'm so lame.. stupid me..

2009-05-24T15:29:00.003+08:00

i'm posting bout my religion.. =x

Buddha-"Awakened one" or "Enlightened One"

Gautama Buddha

Born 563 BCE Lumbini, Nepal
Died 483 BCE Kushinagar, India
Occupation Prince, Spiritual teacher
Home town Kapilavastu
Known for: Founder of Buddhism
Predecessor Kassapa Buddha
Successor Maitreya

Teachings

Four Noble Truths

Noble Eightfold Path

Dependent origination

Dependent arising of enlightenment

suffering
faith
joy
rapture
tranquillity
happiness
concentration
knowledge and vision of things as they are
disenchantment with worldly life
dispassion
freedom, release, emancipation
knowledge of destruction of the cankers

2009-05-24T14:20:00.002+08:00

friday went to west coast park with bc, jian yang..
then ltr gunny, and din came..
they fish come up all is seaweed..
wasting the bait only..
then i went to clementi cc to play bball..
played till my slipper spoilt..
then i went home to change..
and went lavender for my religious class..
abt 10 plus then reach home..
then sat went lunch with my dad..
go until bedok thr to eat lunch.. Zz
then he drove back to holland and fetch my mum home..
bought durians, mango and mangosteen on the way home..
eat fruit till i scared.. =x
then again i went to lavender for class..
oso came home at abt 10 plus..
and i nvr went fishing with bc..
hope i could get whiten, very tann so black lo..
today, my mum told me tat it was 初一, then had to go marketing with her
to buy some vegetarian food to cook for lunch..
and went home to prepare lunch..
but i needa clean all the windows..
and then i changed my bedsheets..
so tiring..
and i cannot tahan my father's messyness..
but i managed to clear some of the mess..
though some mess is created by me..
nw feeling so exhuasted..
if i got a maid, it would be so gd..
haha..
sianz.. i still got skool uniform to iron ltr..
nvm..
take it as training.. next time ns still nid to iron clothes by myself de.. =x
nw my room is so clean and tidy.. :P

2009-05-24T14:03:00.005+08:00

outdated photos again.. =x

i made tis(I♥U) for ~~someone~~ last time.. but didnt have the chance to show it.. =x

2009-05-18T17:09:00.000+08:00

photos taken today..
sianz.. i look fat.. =x

playing under the rain.. plus got lightning de wor..

bc bai pose.. sexy hor? Zz.. yucks..!

some outdated photos..

2009-05-18T15:58:00.002+08:00

morning wake up at 7am..
dun feel like goin skool de lor..
nth to do..
when reach skool i then rmb nid to take temperature..
sianz..
i nvr bring thermometer..
but heng ms lai got the plastic to use..
then i used cy thermometer..
36.7.. tot can get fever then go home early.. Zz
then aft tat went to the hall for some briefing for lower sec, sec 1..
they can have inter-class..
but sec 4 can only sit or helpout..
i went to the basketball to help mr loke,
then abt 9 plus am..
i went out of skool lo..
buay tahan seh, keep staying in skool see other play but ownself cant play..
eat finish le, we plan to go west coast park to have a fishing session..
over thr nvr fish yet, it started to rain le.. -.-
then took shelter at the side of the jetty..
but the rain is so heavy.. our things all got wet..
luckily handphone nvr spoil..
or i jialat lo..
aft tat went to mac to have my lunch..
then mother called me..
i went to the bus stop and waited for my father to fetch me..
had lunch with them again..
nw dl songs..
tmr no skool.. =)
but weds got to go back skool to take back all my exams paper for corrections..
sian, sure nid do lots of correction de..
sure write till hand numb.. Zz
nw i gonna bath le.
aft drenching myself under the rain juz nw.. =x

2009-05-14T20:31:00.002+08:00

shagg..
morning wake up, then rain heavily le..
it was abt 6.17am..
same usual morning routine..
bath le,
then got ready for skool..
first paper was physics for today..
tot i was alr prep well for my paper..
but i think i flung it..
and should be flunged quite a few paper by writing crap.. =x
ytd el paper,
for cloze passage idk wat to write..
then summary..
only 15 points and i only got abt 5 points..
die lo..
e maths more best,
'idk how to do the simplest question and the toughest question..
maybe i really not study type lo..
what's the point of me living in tis world..
i'm juz a failure..
a total failure, i am so imperfect..
A math paper 2, out of 11 question 7 of them i blurr..
and should have lost abt 38++ marks..
nvm,
tmr having inter-class lerz,
i'm sure gonna use my full vengeance on others..
sure gonna have great injuries lo..
oh ya..
aft a maths paper i went to irc to play pool
cy gd lor..
brought me to the basement one,
tat guy sibei guai lan..
heng i not smoking today..
or else my temper sure say wan fight then fight lor..
KNN
think u big ah,
talk so rude to us..
we customer, u only an employee(poor).. u oso take money from customer(rich) to get ur stupid small little pay..
wan earn more money u better learn how to speak properly la..
aft tat we went to the first floor to play pool..
bc sibei haolian sia..
juz a game win le nid to have so many comments de ah?
total spent $10.10.
then went to choa chu kang to play bball..
and realise so many ppl speak vulgarities de lor..
i btr change myself to speak less vulgarities..
be more polite and civilised..
play half way,
bc phone rang..
it was my parents..
juz asking why haven reach home and nvr inform them..
sian..
everything nid to inform.
is like i staying in prison or wat?
tell u i go whr everytime,
i nw 15+, not 6 yrs old lei
i noe la, i still like young boy..
but no nid lidat de marhx
i buay tahan de lei..
talk until parents..
ytd my father suddenly say i go smoke daily,
i tio shock..
of cos say i nvr smoke larh
or my pocket money shrink again..
i alr trying to cut down le..
and i manage not smoking for a day..
so i btr continue to stop for years and years, btr forever..
then i wont suffer much from lung cancer..
and cos i dun wan my pocket money to shrink again..
juz nw took a cab home..
actually wan alone take de..
but since bc shun lu,
i ask him along.. then nic oso wan follow..
then cy ask me send hx home.
then i say k lo
she insisted on paying me money so i collected 4 bucks from her..
tmr i nid return her 1 dollar..
taxi fare total 19.70
from CCK,
quite cheap lo plus peak hour..
then tat 2 guys nic paid 3 dollars and bc 0..
suan le..
they no money or very save then i pay lo..
since i nw got cash
and oso no stead to spend money on, then i waste money on cab or eating myself more lor..
when i reach home idk why my temper really burst off..
quarrelled with my dad..
then skip dinner..
Zz
he say my attitude sucks..
haizxx...
i noe my attitude sucks sometime..
but i only teenage mah..
take more time to learn and change..
but i definitely cant be as guai as before le.. =x
cos got ppl say, 学坏三天功，学好三年功。
wan get bad easy but wan become gd again take alot of time de..
for the sake of less quarrelling between father and me..
i change lo, or else mother oso buay tahan de..
cant wait for tmr to play bball..
for nw bball is everything..
next time, when i got a partner, i sure push everything away and
the partner is my everything.. haha =x
i go watch tv lo..
father want play com..
and i wating for bc photo tmr..
he tou pai wo,
i can sue him de.. lol
and tmr i got to rmb to bring health booklet and wear skool u inside wear pe..

2009-05-10T19:58:00.002+08:00

i'm sick!! :'(
hope i myself will recover soon..
haha
i'm so emo-ed..
i'm left with myself, being alone..
last friday went wei lun house..
aft tat went CC play bball..
then my phone went dead..
and i still continue to go for my religious class..
though i'm alr sick..
even wearing jacket oso can sneeze wor..
haizx..
i really shouldnt play bball and keep my body healthy..
i'm so trying to quit smoking and stop all my bad habits..
hoping tat by changing.. i could be a better person..
cos i learnt tat wat i do will retribute to my own future..
so i better have a gd nw and get a better future..
sat morning i went juehai again.
for 3 bu 1 bai..
i then nw my stamina like shit..
bai only 100 alr perspiring..
but at least i tried to ding xia zizi de xin..
and keep my heart from thinking of nonsensical things..
and i feel much more better but i am still down with flu..
being single is so ...
no one to care beside me de lor..
suan le,being single still got lots of advantages..
so i better think of the better side than the bad side..
today actually wanted to go juehai oso de..
but my flu was really very bad..
cant even breath trough my nose.. :'(
but went to see a doctor at night..
which is nw..
and i feel so much better lo..
nw asking others to go out..
so boring tmr..
but i think i better stay home and rest to let my body recover from my flu..
haizx..
study study study..
i better force myself to study lo..
and get gd grades promoting to sec 5..
and aft ec 5 poly..
i nid to plan well and far to keep myself on the right track to earn enough money
as i nid to look after my parents..
i nid to be more sensible from nw on..
i must nvr have the mind of getting bad..
i must always rmb, i have my own parents tat are depending on me..
so i must lead myself to my own path and no matter wat happens
i must not get affectted and be more sensible..
and do things with my mind thinking..
and try to stay out of trouble..
jyjyjy.. i can do it de.. gtr, i am starting my engine again.. ^.^
gtr on the go!!

2009-05-01T08:59:00.002+08:00

i'm so planning myself to become a fighter..
i cant tahan chyna ppl and some other ppl..
and ytd watched ppl spar..
cha yi dian wan diao zui..
heng jason came to rescue, i heard..
but the fault was not our player..
cos he alr fall,
u still punch his face until bleed..
so our malay friends bao u, oso bo salah..
and prob settle le.. better no zui next time...
if not really nid parang or other weapon lo..
then i went to find bc..
at first, only 4 ppl..
then ltr terence they all oso come..
they ask me help them buy cigg..
so i buy lo,
cos i oso can take a few...
but i only shared one with terence..
cos i scare smoke until die... =x
another few more days to exam lo..
ppls better study hard leis..
and another 4 more months to N lvl..
aft N i sure play like crazy..
at least my parents wont control me aft N for a few days..
being a guai kia is so tough..
i rather be an ordinary kid.. zz
and today i'm goin juehai..
at 2pm..
wan go out play oso cant.. =x
but at least thr could change me to a better person..
gd luck to ppls for ur exams, and rmb to study hards..

2009-04-18T05:04:00.002+08:00

wahh.
fucked up lo..
suan le..
i nth to comment..
hear so many bad comments bout u.
and even u say me until lidat..
u dun suck, i suck..
thks ah..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

finding a day to go juehai and ask xiu xiu laoshi to counsel me.. =x
i really hate my life..
juz hope i wasnt on tis fucked up world..
see ppl suddenly change so much..
ask them change they come gao gan me..
i better dun care..
cos some ppl will juz take me as irritating..
i dun nid ur comments i noe u got gangster friends..
think i scared?
argh..
hope i could juz shout out everything and let everything past me..
last night went natalie birthday..
so many ppl..
and actually dun wan smoke de..
but lastly still smoke le..
cos i cant get wat's the point of quitting lo..
when i'm so fucked up by ppl..
life full of misery..
right before i go natalie birthday,
lunch was at kfc
noelle and angela oso thr..
then chatted..
i asked alot of fucked up question tat i damn fucked up to listen..
ppl change damn fucking fast..
and then..
aft kfc,
i went home to change clothes to go natalie's birthday party..
reach the chevrons thr,
see zinger mother busy making bbq,
feel so ps,
then i helped out..
and asked her to rest..
but she juz wont rest..
play until damn tired over at the chevrons..
jesmond, azinger and terence still over thr ton..
gd lor..
not like me,
mother ban so many things le..
juz abit late reach home she scold me
shagg.. alr feeling so fucked up still tio another kp..
[cant wait for 2012 to happen..
juz hope it could really destroy me..
'and i no need to be so fucked up by things..]

2009-04-16T18:25:00.003+08:00

haizx..
sometimes things are really hurting.. =x
tuesday was home early..
cos bc dad fetch me home..
shun lu..
then always the same thing bc will say to me.. Zz
stupid lor..
some things are better to forget than to rmb..
dun u noe..
and pls if wan intro girls..
intro gd de lei..
dun intro those tat always hang out with guys de, can?
i got phobia from past experience le hor.. :x
reached home, i on my com and saw geraldine online..
asked her why nvr come skool,
she say sick.. ._.
then from her i found out things..
tat i dun wan to noe..
but still i kpo and gek kiang wan noe.. =.=
she compared me with terence.. Zz
and say i same prob as him.. (>.<)
u gd la..
Zz
almost all friend got stead le..
hope all will last long bah..
still single wan sui..
cos no nid listen or get controlled by stead..
haha
jesmond xin ku ni le.. :p
and zinger continue lasting long long wor.. lol
but single will feel sian until like shit when no one to pei.. :(
Zz
i better think of studies and not other things...!!!
and i realise alot of song is bullshyt..
the lyrics write not nice de..
wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni zhi ying wei wo tai ai ni.. dorts..
if u like someone truely should go zui le ma, why still give up.. should say
wo hui xue zhe zui qiu ni zhi ying wei wo tai ai ni.. haha.. =x
i'm so lame..
haizx..
and i ytd watch 10pm channel u show,
got one guy is like having same attitude as me..
so childish.. =x
and read a few ppl blog..
their life is so gd..
got ppl with them all the time.. =x
some boys/girls even got many girls/guys to pei during weekends..
oh ya,
tmr i got to go natalie birthday..
if nvr go, scared she scold me, she so fierce de lor.. =x
and i gonna pon ncc training since i'm so useless thr..
juz doin nth for every training. :(
i really dunno why i last time will listen to someone and go for stupid ncc training..
the most boring cca..
i rather go for basketball, but not tanglin's
cos tanglin sec sucks
i dun like the bad memories in tis skool.. =x
another 1 more year and off i go another skool..
then from thr i try chong xin kai shi xin de ren shen mu biao..
and try succeed in every thing..
i alr quitted smoking..
i nvr touch cigarettes le.. YaY..
nw i noe you zhi ze shi jing cheng..
still dunno wat present gonna buy for natalie.. but definitely gonna kup money to buy . cos i'm a broke alr.. =x
Zz.. juz hope i could find someone gd and pei me almost all the time soon..
someone who would care for me, share thoughts, and understanding..
reminder to 4N1!
maths homework,
complete the worksheet tat Mr TAN CHOR SENG gave..

2009-04-05T23:25:00.002+08:00

today spent my day at my ah ma house..
i was like a pig..
go thr le,
eat my breakfast,
then sleep..
wake up eat lunch and then sleep again..
then till 5pm,
i then go paya lebar thr buy food for dinner..
eat le,
then go back home lo..
so tired even though i slept and ate a lot..
hope i wont get fat.. =x
and tmr is pe le..
idk if i can do pull-ups anot le.. :(
oh ya,
and happy couples to jesmond..
today u stead le bah??
and zinger last long long hor..
then i continue stay single.. =x
cos i dun think nw stead got use..
nw stead, oso wont be tgt forever.. the most last long long only..
unless miracles do happen..
and then will get married.. =x
haizx..
i dun think if i wan find stead got chance lo..
all ppl say until i so lan.. (>.<)
nw concentrate on studies first? or i should try finding one to keep me warm?
but i nw think tat i really que fa ai lo.. Zz

2009-03-29T08:08:00.005+08:00

phew...
juz got home aft sleeping at azinger house..
ytd was a sleeping, smoking, slacking day..
i went to downtown east,
go to han xin chalet meet terence in the morning..
then all sleeping de..
so i smoke to kill time lo..
jesmond and terence no bed to sleep
so poor thing..
aft tat, 11am
jes terence me go eat breakfast..
thr de stall like siao de..
all come and ask me to go their shop..
so scary lo..
Zz
aft eating
others wake up le..
then they oso
go eat lo
but aft tat,
jesmond wan sleep..
so i pei him lo..
making terence ignatius both oso fell asleep..
wasting my time thr from morning to 6pm
then wan go find zinger at city hall de..
but my stupid bus nvr come for 35mins
cb lo..
the bus driver die le or wat seh..
take so long to come,
and is juz a short distance..
took the bus to pasir ris bus interchange..
over thr,
i finished my 1 pack of cigarettes
i got share with ohers de..
so i didnt smoke too much too.. =x
zinger oso came white sands meet me jes terence..
at white sand sure play arcade kill time de
so we spent almost all our money over thr..
should say i spent..
cos other ppl alr no money le.. Zz
aft tat went to take a train to jurong and take a bus to zinger house thr..
we played basketball until 11.30pm
then suddenly 2 police come ask me
u how old,
which skool
wan go home anot.
i write letter to ur parents if u nw dun go home..
stupid la, police..
u work for government like a dog..
and get so little pay..
worth it ma?
write thousands of letter in one month la,
if all underage still outside at 11pm..
write until ur finger lan diao..
and u only get the most 2k?
cos u are juz a low rank..
if u cid u get high pay lo..
stupid low rank..
then i didnt quarrelled with the police..
cos they are juz ugly even under the dark..
so we went to zinger house..
his mum ask me to stay over..
then she called my mum,
so i stay le lo
till nw then come back..
ytd night only play 2 rounds of mahjong?
then all tired le,
so sleep le.
and i am the earliest to wake up among jes they all..
then i heard tat my dad
had a great fall
haizx..
but nw mei you shi le..
ltr i goin to temple to pay a respect to my grandma..
for qing ming..
yawns..
so tired le,
i still will go bai bai de,
cos i respect my ah ma,
and i loved her as my ah ma..
she was the best..
but nw my mum side de ah ma is the best. =x
nid to bath and prepare myself go temple le..
i still try cut down cigg..
then slowly dun touch..
sorry,
i always break promises for smoking. :(
but tis time i sure try my best stop touching it once and for all..
i swear.. =x

2009-03-27T22:06:00.003+08:00

juz came back from cityvibes..
had my sakae dinner with my dad..
nw feeling better le,
cos i eat until my dad burn a hole in his pocket. =x
but still heartbroken..
haizx..
mum dun trust me at all..
suan le.. =x
since no one trust me,
i better be a untrustworthy person bah..
i tried my best to make my mum trust me le..
but she still wont trust de..
i rather lost everyone's trust upon me. Zz
erm, maybe nw alot ppl dun trust me lo. :(
hope tmr is a better day for me..
and sorry ppls,
if i msg u ppl rudely tis few days..
it's all my fault. (>.<)
i should learn to control my temper.. =x
gonna sleep le, cos i dun wan talk to my mum. Zz
stubborn me.. :x

2009-03-27T18:09:00.002+08:00

today nvr brought any books to skool..
only bring foolscap.. Zz
and i fucking hate today..
everything juz not gd..
and juz quarrelled with my mum.
she is a mother fucker..
she dun trust me, yet wan give birth to me..
hope she understand el,
and see wat i type.
then she angry until bao xue guan.. Zz
i last time smoke and drink,
doesnt mean i now oso will, k?
cb,
always say i got smoke.
today actually wan go han xin de bd chalet..
nvr ton oso nvr mind de..
but really no mood le, i dun wanna destroy ur party..
so i better stay home and destroy my family bond..
i wan ignore my mum,
until she noe it's her fault.
knn
and my bloody father keep telling me all sense,
and say is i wrong,
not my mum.
WTH!
i really hate my family..
ppl with maid gd lo,
quarrel with parents le,
still can talk to maid.
i only can fucking punch the wall until my temper cools down..
i'll nvr ever wan go for religious class..
it nvr help in my life.
cos i learn le,
oso wont apply it in my life de..
especially with such a lousy mum
her mindset is so lkk..
cant she juz go to the past and be her old thinking person..
nw got yellow ribbon le,
even criminals got second chance..
why cant i get my second chance.
and my ah gong oso got smoke.
she wont go kp him ah, everytime wan kp me only!!! knnbccb!
i alr try my best not to smok le..
but everytime i sad or angry, i sure smoke de ma..
unless u wan me do wat?!
i alr tried my best to stop touching cigg le..
cant u juz trust me..
my heart shattered le,
even own parents dun trust me.. :'(
sobs sobs............................
i really hope i wasnt born in tis family..
a family with both parents physically disabled and always think tat they got the rights to control me..
i noe wat i am doin.
i am not tat young little boy u have once had before,
ever since i nvr listen to u last year.
and got hurt,
i will nvr really listen to anyone le..
nw my temper is even stronger than before le..
guess no one could ever tolerate my nonsense alr..
and i nw there's no point of studying so smart, if i cant get parents trust or warmth.
unless i disown myself from them.. =x
my life is so tough..
i juz hope my parents were normal and could understand me well..
but the age gap is really getting too far..
and i dun really like communicating with them.. :-S
why ....................................?!
i had better go chill myself down..
before i really make my parents bao xue guan and no one to give me money le. :x

2009-03-26T21:43:00.002+08:00

haizx..
today morning wake up tio sore eyes
knn la
alr not in gd mood le
still so suay
living is so tough..
and i hate to suffer..
ppl who make me suffer, i will oso hate them..
plus daily father sure ask me wat time go home..
and hanging out with who?
zz
hen irritating de lo..
and plus mother keep asking if i got smoke..
Zz
i nvr oso can let her say until i got..
cb lo..
but i will still be smoking sometimes..
but i swear i will try my best not to touch it de..
slowly cutting down le..
hope tmr can ton lo..
at least i no nid see my parents face,,
for at least one day
i oso swear, i wont anyhow de..
cos i wont have pms de,,
it dui shen ti bu hao..
and will get aids easily.
so i be gd boy..
but they still dun allow..
argh..
they worry wat?
i alr swear i wont smoke drink and play girl le..
i nw trying to find a gd gd girl for me to tiong xin..
Zz

2009-03-25T23:12:00.002+08:00

today sucks to the core..
i hate 25 march..
everything juz suxs..
i promised hanxin and mabel not to smoke.
i alr tried my best le.
if i continue smoking dun bu li wo lei..
and erm,
sorry lei, mabel..
i not purposely send u my rude msg de
i dunno wat has got into me
but thks for ur understanding.. =x
at least u can tahan me..
but i really sian diao le..
jes, nw always find his other special friend out..
then i nth to say lo..
plus today play bball cant even play properly..
then ltr suddenly rain
fucked up..
then all ppl go home lo..
bc, cy, nic and me go wcp..
drank coffee bean de mocha ice blended..
then suddenly feel like smoking..
but i ren,
cos wo da ying ni le..
i dun wan to break my promise to u.. =x
dunno why,
i really hui ting ni de hua wor..
but tat time saw u at clementi stadium, like bei ni mi zu le.. =x
u like super gd lo..
and i really ps tat i nvr bought u present for ur bd.. =x
and with u, wo fa xian, ur life is even miserable..
but u can still make it colorful..
and always can cheer me up when i am down.. =)
back to wcp,
was talking abt results..
then ms lai agreed to open her class for us to focus.
the bad thing is suddenly they talk abt my past.
eh, u all dunno i hate my past and hen bu de yao wang ji shuo you de yi qie meh?
really hope u all could find me an angel, and not a devil..
aft tat sent cy to bus stop..
went home,
father kp..
aft tat,
mother came home and oso kp..
suan le..
till nw still nagging..
Zz..
really fucked up lo..
juz hope i am an orphan,
no one can nag at me 24/7..
still cant ton for han xin bd.. =x
nvm lo..
go thr play for a while nia...
shagg..
i wan MC for 1 yr..
then can have no stress for a year..
haizx,
nw i noe some words arent meant to be said..
and i should not use words hurtfully..
and use it nicely..
Zz..

2009-03-24T20:53:00.003+08:00

eh..
everyone,
tis few days dun mind a bit fucked up ah..
i got a damn weird personality..
making almost everyone fucking pissed..
maybe cos i trying quit smoking?
Zz..
i really dunno how to quit..
when i am always with smokers..
and no one really could stop me le..
nahh,,
give up..
better die earlier..
i dun wan to suffer..
and these few days damn shagg..
all friends goin bo eng le..
i better go find smt to do,
or i'll sian dao bao zha de..
and tis fri is han xin birthday le..
and my mum juz told me, i cannot ton..
argh..
bad bad day for me,
why is there someone creating cigarettes and no other better things to help one de-stress..
anyone have ways to help me de-stress? =x
oh ya,
sorry to ppl i today i've kp..
u wan, come fight with me.
dun wan then suan le..
i really feel like punching things le.. =x
nid to fa xie, if not i goin to get explosion lo..
brothers all bo lo yong le..
have girl, dun wan hang out le..
nvm, u all go tiong xin bah..
i wait till my time is right, and i could find myself one tat is gd,
i sure pangseh u all until u all angry.. Zz
cb lo,
got so many el holiday homework,
my el gum pua lan le,
still wan me write in el,
torturing me...
btw,
nw results no gd de ppl,
next time do better bah..
nth is impossible..
i could even become a big time gangster, one day..
if i really cant find her.. lol..
but my parents sure kp till i buay tahan..
so better dun become gangster.. Zz..
haizx..
zinger nw got another half le,
jesmond waiting,
terence ??, ... ...
shagg..
all very busy de..
i become gay or monk better? =x

2009-03-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

wahh..
thks ah, han xin..
let me rmb i nid quit smoking.. Zz
i all forget le..
haha
and cousin, use ur name la hor..
but i noe u who le..
lol
i am so lame.
sian sian..
i wan go malaysia.. thr things so cheap
and i realize my happiness are not found at home..
it's found only when i got freedom..
so hope tat i can ton everyday..
no nid study and go siao daily..
spam money like no one's business.
Zz
tat will nvr happen. :(
sian ah..
stress lo.
juz hope i could finish my O's tis year, then next year total freedom le..
but still got 2 years lo..
tis fri goin for han xin bird-day le..
maybe cant ton lo..
hope terence dun mind lei..
haha
cos i dun wanna touch cigarettes le..
hope tat i will nvr keep in touch with it.. lol
past few days spent my time watching tv..
only for weds i miss my yi qie wan mei 2..
through the show,
i learnt
words should not be hurtful, use it to say i love you. :)
bear with the imperfection, makes it perfect.
a relationship is to be managed not tested.
but the show so fast finish le lo.
today,
spent my day with my dad and mum and ah ma..
wth lo..
i feel so shameful, taking money fromo my grandparents who nids money more than i do..
and zhi hong, i here got ur 20 bucks, when u wan take from me? lol
hope i grow up nw how to be filial and pay back to htem. haha
tiring and boring day.. (>.<)
nites..
sleeping le. haha

2009-03-05T18:51:00.003+08:00

i finally post on my 'dead' blog le..
finally finish my common test on tues..
truly saying, i didnt studied much.
yet others keep saying i got study de lo.
haizx..
nw i think ms lai goin give me stress lo.. =x
my results were quite ok bah..
but ss is like so lan..
even though got other ppl to teach me le. still cant get gd grades.. :(
juz hope my el wont fail..
cos nw only get 17/30 for my compo.. Zz..
but is the first time i got a pass for my compo.. :)
and i really dunno why i will be addicted to cigarettes.. =x
argh..
hope i could quit it once and for all, and nvr ever touching it ever again..
and why others keep saying tat i'm a '***' .. haizx..
oh ya, even worse thing is why even got ppl comment tat i look like a lion.. =x
is it cos of my pong pong de hair?
i think i've got to cut my hair lo.. =x
haizx..
juz nid to train my temper..
then cant get agitated when other say me.. =x
ltr 10pm watching my favorite show, 一切完美2。 :)
goin for my dinner lo.. =x

2009-01-27T09:58:00.002+08:00

i hate new year.. =x
always getting less red packet money than others..
shagg..
and is always so boring..
only for dinner gd..
cos can drink beer. =x
finally my mum nvr say cannot lo..
goin out soon lo..
brothers wan sui..
new year arrives and a new start for all of us..
better cherish everything we have nw..
and singles getting chance to find a partner soon. :P
couples, last long leis.. or even better, be tgt forever.. :D
nvr ever leave each other leis.. LOL
new year is so boring.. (>.<)

2009-01-24T15:48:00.003+08:00

nw doin spring cleaning for my mum lo..
haizx.. who ask me to born in such a family..
must help them do things lo..
if not they say i not filial de.. =x
daily help them, nvr get anything as reward de..
only get pocket money..
damn it lor..
nvm..
do until i die suan le..
unless there's way for me to get quick money..
GRR..
rich ppl got money so gd lo..
poor, everytime complain abt money and then ang bao not even a 100.
cb..
fucked up... =x
juz hope i could get rich and have no problems with money..
then no nid everytime let parents complain say i spent money fast..
but is they give little money..
shagg.. tmr still nid go temple again..
haizx..
new year oso very sian lo..
but at least i can eat reunion dinner tmr..
and play mahjong..
vent my stress on mahjong.. =x

2009-01-23T15:59:00.002+08:00

by 1 feb, i'll back in juehai to see u all lo. :p
i wan my cip hours from u.. =x
cos i nid the hours to minus my points. (>.<)
today's cny celebration quite nice.. :x
but sure lousier than other skool de.. :(
juz hope i could find someone to pei me everytime..
nw so xian mu cy.. =P
sports gd, studies gd, stead gd..
haizx..
for me,
sports sux, studies kns and no more stead lo..
but luckily i quit smoking lo.. with jesmond de help..
nw trying to build up stamina..
then can try to make everything gd gd..
waiting for my reunion dinner on sunday with my relative.. :p
then monday,
go and see my cousins..

all more smarter than me de.. =x

and ytd ms lai,
so weird lo..
ask me some things.. and asking me to help her in her studies.. =x
nw my studies super lan lo.. sure cant help anyone de mah.. and she should be more smarter than me lo(>.<)
and ms lai oso ask, wo he ta mei you ke neng le ah.. =x
she dunno things that are broken, when fix back got scar de meh? Zz
unless melt le, then make again..
but sure will be super painful de.. =x
hearing from wat jesmond say last year before so many things,
i really regret not listening to him.. :(
maybe i could only really trust jesmond and some of my brothers lo.. :x

2009-01-17T10:44:00.004+08:00

ytd fell down at clementi cc..
haizx..
basketball phobia.. :x
nvr ever play basketball if bc is around..
i gonna continue my family trend,
being a handicap.. :p
bought ang hoon ytd..
and terence finally found the old gabriel,
the smoker who spams next chill like as if cigg is so cheap. :D
nw only can smoke ang hoon, cos is so cheap..
and i learnt to wrap le.. :x
so easy.. and very sheng qian..
argh,
studying so tough and stress..
nid cigg to destress de.
and smoking doesnt = to paikia mah..
even if i smoke, i still can get gd grades de mah..
tat's wat jason said.. :x
haha
all brothers..
hia di wan sui..
but jesmond,
i will stop by cny de..
cos i dun wan treat u eat.. :p
and is so gd to see u quitting with jue xin..
haha..
first time see jesmond so definite to quit smoking..
miracle lo..
so i must pei him and give him the yong qi to quit too..
my camera, still with me..
sianz, i wan to pass it to u right nw and faster repair for me.. :x
ps, cos i not free.. and cant even go religious class until feb bah..
haha, reynard sure gonna say i psk.. :x

2009-01-11T21:37:00.004+08:00

juz got back from my aunt's house..
haizx..
tired tired..
cos i went to paya lebar cresent there de temple to pay a respect to my grandma..
today her death aniversary..
for almost 5 years she's gone..
luckily i alr no more sadness for my grandma.. :x
aft tat went home lo..
damn tired alr, even though it's only for a short while..
but still got homework haven finish..
so must stay awake to complete lo..
and idk how to do a few questions mann..
dead for me le.. :x
ytd went for ncc, cca open house..
so damn boring over there.. :x
but i really dun like ncc,
i nvr went for any training till i was asked by someone..
haizx..
aft cca open house,
i went to imm then queensway..
finally bought a shoe..
btw, i went there with chuan yong and shawn teo.. :p
they damn .... keep telling me how gd is someone.. :x
if someone is gd, someone will not turn bad de..
and will not so fast find another stead de mah..
so chuan yong, ur gf still the best.. :p
must treasure her.. 珍惜和她的每一分每一秒..
but oso must study de leis..
haha
and stop telling me abt someone gd thing..
i scared of relationship things le..
and u think the someone still wan me meh..
someone got so many approachers de..
so pls nvr ever talk to me abt someone le..
especially u, bang cheng.. :x
cos in this world zhar bor say they will commit suicide,
all is cock de.
only my eldest cousin believe..
Zz
then he go patch with the girl..:x
they all say love 100%, actually is talk cock de lor..
aft a week can find another stead de..
skj will sure agree with me.. :x
and i decided to be vegetarian only on 初一and十五.. :x
and i nvr msg anyone lo.. cos i wan concentrate basketball and a bit study..
cos mother nw stressing me lo..
and jesmond, terence..
pls leh,
quit smoking..
i alr quit le..
if u all continue, i oso will continue de seh.. :x

2009-01-08T18:21:00.002+08:00

diaozx..
goin back to skool is so stress for me..
i nw trying to be a vegetarian too, aft tat i've alr quit smoking..
sian,
almost everything was gone from my brain..
i cant rmb physics..
shagg..
damn it..
but hope i can start all over again..
it's nvr too late..
so i must chiong my last year thing alr.
but i'm juz plain lazy.
cant even sit for an hour to study.. :x
hope i could ever change guai..
is so damn tough..
but i alr took a big step.. :p
and juz quarrelled with my stupid father..
everytime wan to win a quarrel..
so i let him win lo..
but consequences is,
to hear him nag for the stupid topic in the quarrel for the whole day..
wa,
my ears are full of rubbish words from my dad's mouth..
nvm,
he always think he's right..
let him be..
i'm too lazy to ask someone who nvr noes his mistake to change..
and i give up to ask other to change..
as it will still turn out to be the same aft u nvr control them..
and is alr proven, cos i tested..
a lazy person always is a lazy person.
and someone who is not goin to realise everything tat he/she has done is wrong, will nvr change..
juz hope to maintain my friends without haivng to hang out with them too often..
and i promise to stay out of relationship.. :x
cos i am scared alr.. :x
and actually liting shouting did help me,
as she say smoke smoke smoke, ltr u die early!!
then i started to think of other ways to distress..
and nw turning gd.. haha
hope to absorb every subjects important topic into my brain.. :p

2009-01-01T21:43:00.004+08:00

wa sian..
shagg shagg..
i goin dead..
and before i go dead..
i wan say sorry to everyone tat i've hurt..
or ppl who i've pissed..
sorry for my doings being so childish as for my age nw.. :x
apologising and repenting..
before everythings go too late..
haha
cos is my new life lo..
and i got my flu, cough, sore throat..
haizx..
bad ending of 2008.
and a bad starting of 2009,
for me. :'(
but i'm turning gd..
and apologising every mistake i've done last year.
sorry everyone..
i nid u all to help me to change gd..
LOL
teach me every gd things.. :x
no bad things leis..
i only gonna stay gd tis year..
even though im sick.
i will still go skool tmr..
i will not be mc for once at all..
cos i wan to be the no.1 guai kia(sec 4na) in skool.. haha
JYJY, gabriel teo rong tai, I can do it..
and if u are my friend,
pls help me with my temper, anger..
and everything tat u think is a mistake..
teach me the rights and the wrongs.. :p
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and nw regretting every mistake..
(sorry for not goin juehai ytd.. as i was down with flu.. and hope 蔡爸 could recover soon :D)

2008-12-31T11:11:00.002+08:00

wa seh..
today alr the last day of 2008..
must treasure today..
and everything coming upon next year..
Zz..
treasure everything.. :p
and tis year very cute wor,
got two last 1 second..
heard from the news..
tis shows tat i'm given one more second to live on tis earth..
haha
haizx..
2 more days and im so goin back to tss..
juz got the feeling tat i dun wanna go back to tanglin..
and transfer to private skool..
but too sad,
parents bo luei..
tanglin sec,
should be very strict next year le barhx?
Zz..
i very scared wor.. :x
jialat seh..
how how?
argh..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and tan zhi hong..
u are so damn $$ face wor..
LOL
not everything money could settle de..
and sometimes money can cause trouble.. :x
money is evil.. :p
haha
___________________________________________________________________

so many things have yet to be done..
i haven clean up my room..
wash floor, windows of my flat..
wa seh..
if i got maid,
it would be gd seh..
but dun have..
so i be my own maid lorz.
for everything i must think positive from nw on...
and i must not be a paranoid person anymore..
LOL
and from tmr onwards i'll control my every temper..
no matter is big or small..
must control..
if not sure wont have hao xia chang..
and and and,
3rd of jan,
i can collect 500 dollars from the moe at clementi cc..
YAY!!
tis is so shiok..
so happy..
haha
but must still buck up and study and beat my older cousin..
my N lvl,
points must be 8 and below..
EMB3..
haizx..
jyjyjy to myself and brothers.. :p
dun wanna see any of ya go into ITE wor..
haha
happy new year to everybody.. :x
wishes u all a new prosperous year,
with lots of joy and laughter..
and pass N lvl for sec 4N1, 4N2(TSS).. :p

2008-12-29T09:46:00.003+08:00

O.o
finally got a gd night sleep..
cos i went to fuo xue ying..
i was the leader, when i cant even control them and create mess.
haizx, i so you zhi..
and i actually could tahan 3 days without phone, meat, tv, com..
haha
if i become vegetarian,
gd or bad seh..
new year cant eat ba gua..
so better should be a meat eater.
but eat meat le, perspire got meat odour..
lol
and and and,
i 3 weeks nvr smoke le..
brothers, pls
dun spon me cigg lo..
i alr decided not to smoke to ruin my lungs, or life?
and i nid to control my temper from nw on.
cos i really got a very bad temper..
haizx..
from the camp,
i learnt alot of things..
but i nw all forget lo..
Zz..
i got stml le.. :x
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
aftnoon..
went out with tutor..
he told me, is my mum wan me to go de..
is like counselling siol..
nvm..
cos i alr zhang da le,
nid to noe wat thing is wrong, and wat is right..
and stay away from drugs..
and dun hang out too late.
if not parents kpkb..
and must be mature more,
to understand my parents..
and tahan them..
listen to them..
who ask me to be the only child.. :x
so be guai lorzxx..
and if go skool teacher say wat, oso listen..
dun find other trouble..
wa,
i like really goin become a 100% guai kia le wor..
nvm..
if let ppl say i hj or watsoever..
most important is my record..
and i nid to control my temper..
lastly,
i very xian mu my tutor seh..
his stead sibei gd seh..
is like so understanding type of zhar bor lorzx..
my tutor same pattern as me,
got alot of things to do, then sure become bad mood and ignore everythings sehx..
but his stead still tgt with him..
so xian mu lorzx..
haha..
next year, really got many things to do..
so i nid to stay home aft skool..
and only have outings on weekends or holidays..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and i today alr eat meat lo.
haizx,
i really not a type of person who can be a vegetarian..
Zz.. :x

2008-12-24T10:34:00.002+08:00

haizx..
went to terence house ytd..
played majong..
which i dun understand anything..
then i took a basketball back..
then mother still say i smoke.. :(
getting trust back from them is so tough..
even my younger cousin can get trust from his mother..
then his mother give him money when he ask for it.
then me leis..
get atm card le.
she still wan keep..
say scared i take money out buy cigg..
suan le lor..
so hard to trust me..
then dun trust..
but i sure wont smoke le..
i promise, and swear..
haizx...
regretting so many things,
one of them is, why i started smoking..
Zz..
the rest i cant rmb lo..
but i'm nw regretting abt alot of things.. :(
if all things nvr happen..
i could be the same as before, a guai kia with parents trust..
but nw, they take me as a useless boy always wasting money..
HAIZX..
argh..
i did too many mistakes in my life lo.. :(
even saying sorry wouldnt cure anything tat has alr happen..
only could blame myself stupid lor.. :x

2008-12-23T10:56:00.002+08:00

wa sianzx
heard tat my cousin got 8 points for N lvl..
wth lorzx..
he everyday slack and hong zha bor only..
then last minute, my girl cousin go teach him..
he become so smart..
Zz..
cannot lose to him derzx..
chiong studies???
but if i still fail..
i quit studying..
sian sian sian..
i nw so damn broke..
parents only give 4 dollar per day..
lowlowlow
they give me, a lj reason..
cos they scared i buy cigarette.. :x
sianzx..
nw even parents dont trust me lo..
jialat seh..
how to get trust and then increase my pocket money????!!!!
=.=
i alr swear i wont smoke le mah..
oso not i shuo hua bu suan hua..
even though i always bu suan hua de.. :(
haizx...
i wan to celebrate christmas with brothers..
but i got religious camp..
so zhi hao fang qi brother, then go camp los..
ps ah..
sorry brothers..
haha..
Zz..
skj,
u ah...
dorts.....
bian tai..
haha
very gross leis..
LOL..
改造，成为一个乖乖仔。:D

2008-12-12T10:45:00.003+08:00

i'm still in langkawi.. lowlowlow
i miss u all wor..
haha
as a brother. LOL
haizx..
he alr back in sg..
he can see his cute cute de belle los.
jacky they all say she gd stead wor..
so skj, u better cherish leis.. wahaha..
no matter what oso must be with her.. MUAHAHA
btw, had lots of fun and boringness in malaysia..
cos i ytd went swimming.
even though idk how..
at least im still alive.. Zz
i kanna bloody sun burnt..
lowlowlow
and i alr bankrupt..
bo luei..
cant buy anything lo..
even cigarette..
i oso nvr buy..
cos i, gabriel teo rong tai aka gtr..
swear tat i quit smoking before next year..
if not i treat jesmond swensens. haha
but must wait till i get my pay first. :P
only in malaysia for abt one week..
haizx..
parents alr wan me to call back..
sianzx
dun even wan to hear them..
everytime for nth scold or say me..
then mother super..
can even tell my grandpa,
tat i smoooke..
lowlowlow
she damn .... lorzx.
i tahan..
wait till i 21..
then she will noe..
cos i sure disappear for long..
Zz..
or i migrate to japan.
at least thr got my mother friend.
and can race..
i miss all my brothers!!
hia di wan sui ah !!!!!!
tiong xim nvr die..
lol
lastly..
jesmond ah..
happy couples to u and belle. :D
祝你們長長久久,早生贵子.
haha
last long. :P

2008-12-04T10:08:00.004+08:00

do i look like a pai kia? Zz
my ic photo lidat oso bo bian. :x
all friend see my ic, all say like pai kia.
but not so pai kia as jack. haha
he is still the most pai kia.
LOL
and i'm goin malaysia on 6 december lo.
at least no nid to see parents face for abt 2 weeks.
then i nid study lo.
cos i wan get my reward from my tutor.
haha
get gd gd result.
or maybe dun care abt the reward?
and turn bad to worst.
then get into my real home(boy's home) :D
i alr dun feel like goin home at all times. Zz
nw i talk everything nvr go through my brain lo
even talk to father oso scold cb, kp, yao siu kia. and curse him daily to D.I.E.
MUAHAHA..
who can really control me now? :x
even parents dun trust me.
they alr take me as a junk lo.
juz controlling me like prisoner.
nvm los.
dun take me as child,
but must rmb give me money daily leis.
if not i eat wat?
Zz
i am someone who will do anything for money. :P
but i dun kill ppl. haha
Oops..
i'm so bad.
haha.
but no money no talk.
LOL
haizx.. rich ppl..
spend money like nobody's business.
then poor ppl,
can only save money like nobody's business..
so i'm gonna be a poor person lo.
cos parents are so damn poor.
help them save money lo.
then they got money buy coffin. haha
juz talking cock.
i still wan my parents around to see how bad i've turn..
and how much they failed to be my parents..
let them feel tat they are such a failure..
and their child, me.
is so getting bad. :x
haha.
i siao liao lo. :x
but still goin to quit smoking..
cos i dun wan die so early yet. (1 cigg=7 mins of ur life)
packing up to go malaysia lo.
when i go malaysia,
sure bo lang xio tio wa eh. Zz
haizx..
daily slacking at home.
no msg, no com, no cycling, but still got smoke. :(
Zz.

2008-11-29T11:05:00.002+08:00

haizx..
nobody wan me lo.
holiday,
i am gonna rot.
cant hang out with jesmond lo. :(
parents ban everything.
fuckers.
they alr dun wan me as their child lo.
Zz.
selling myself for free. LOL
haha
who wan buy me? haha
sure nobody de.
Zz.
cos i alr a useless person.
parents kua suai eh.
im juz a person wasting the earth resources.
haha.
haizx.
parents oso give up hope on me lo. :x

2008-11-27T15:25:00.003+08:00

argh...
shagg..
i wan to smoke..
smoke..
smoke..
but i dun wan die early.
Zz..
quit?
dun quit?
GRR!!
or maybe dun spam cigg?
some ppl out there help me.
i juz cant quit.
haha
daily mother wan ask i got smoke boh?
diaozx.
she dun trust me le.
:x
nvm..
haha
i oso use ignore.
haha.
ignoring ppl is so fun.
haha
ignore is cool.
tat's my way. to show i not happy.
lol
juz silent.
quiet is the best.
but it makes me xiang tai duo.
Zz..
but still smoking best.
GRR!!
no no no...
quit smoking.
k.
i can do it.
QUIT SMOKING..
if not i quit skool. :P
haha

2008-11-27T15:13:00.002+08:00

haizx..
pai kia is so damn dortsdorts.
i not meant for it.
im gonna turn gd.
haha
quit smoking.
no more bad me.
cos i wan stay alive.
1 cigg, is equal to 7 mins of my life mann.
i rather quit smoking lo.
haha
but i alr spam cigg like nobody's business.
haha
still nid slowly quit.
lol
even jesmond oso say me lo,
spammer..
Zz
so the best is QUIT....
but one thing i see jesmond or other paikia, very cool is..
they can so fast change stead de wor.
jesmond 23 nov patch, 25 nov break, then
stead with another girl.
cb siol..
so cool mann.
haha
but i am nvr them. :(
cos im no. 1 guai kia in the world (gonna be)
LOL
wish me myself luck to be guai.
haizx. tmr last day of work le. :(:(:(:(
GTR is turning on his guai engine le.. :P:P:P:P
bye..

2008-11-23T09:29:00.003+08:00

i'm back..
Zz..
deleted brothers blog.
since i alr not one of them..
and goin to turn bad bad bad.
mr baddie, is ME!!!
YES.
cool..
i turning bad.
but not so bad yet.
haha
cos parents still alive, and nw i working at the stupid bookshop.
then bookshop dun allow me piercing. :( GRR!!
wait till parents die..
then i get money..
buy cigg, martell, and things that can destroy me.
抽烟身体好，喝酒没烦恼。
so must smoke more.
and drink more.
since i alr no future de.
haha
but still got one brother, jesmond(gp)..
LOL
he teach me things.
YAY!!
especially for jio-ing zha bor.
WAHAHA.
we start to say, wan have stead,
must not put 100%,
must put only 80%..
cos if they go out with other guys,
u wont jealous.
haha
or they take photo..
or maybe sibei gum with guys.
Zz..
so cannot put 100% de heart down on one girl.
LOL
and must train to be someone who can fight.
then call good marhx.
cos when ppl jio one on one.
sure steady and juz fight de.
no nid scared.
scared for wad..
zz.
LOL..
GTR残（死）

2008-11-14T03:52:00.002+08:00

O.o im back.
haha
went drinking last few hours ago.
abt 11pm to 12am,
at upp thomson rd.
WAHAHA
i went talk cock sing song. (tcss)
the first time i drank martell
and i didnt merlion.
meaning i did not vomit at all.
haha
but felt a little drunk.
but nw ok alr.
LOL
cos i can tahan martell de. (40% alcohol)
btw, i tar 2 half cup of martell de wor.
then others is tiger mix with martell.
oh ya.
adding almost 20 cigg on ytd(1311).
cb,
mother down thr kpkb.
then i juz say i nvr smoke or drink.
but i drank damn lot.
and smoked damn lot.
YEAH...
who cares abt it if parents worries.
Zz
i alr no money. no honey(stead). no freedom/future.[since tat day]
HAHA.
oh ya.
i got home at around 1230am
first time seh
and father didnt care.
tat's the way mann.
but juz for holidays.
cos next yr N's le mah. haha
i of cos wan gd gd result.
cos tutor say wan give me laptop if i get damn gd results.
HAHA.
and when i a bit drunk, dun noe why will think of her seh.
KNN
alr past so long still will think of her, CCB seh.
Zz.
i go sleep le larhx.
KNNBCCB.
KPKB. cbk.
haha
making my post a little more vulgar.
but im still a guai kia.
MUAHAHA

2008-11-10T09:24:00.002+08:00

zz.
im back to posting tis blog.
low low low.
i hate my bloody parents.
everytime kp.
cb siol.
especially.
when my mother noe i smoke.
fucked up mann.
everyday ask me i got smoke a not?
and faster quit.
zz.
sibei tulan.
knnbccb.
they say lidat call caring siol.
who nid their care sial.
im no longer the gabriel before.
im nw a useless guy.
with lots of bloody shit care tat i dun wan from my parents.
fucked up.
at least,
i damn fucking gd boy.
nvr join gang.
haha.
but mix with them.
zz.
parents, damn annoying.
ZZ.
stay home so fucking boring.
then of cos i go out.
aft goin out, everytime set time for me.
fucked up siol.
oso not i go out fight.
Zz
then,
the damn fucking bloody sucking thing from my mother's mouth is,
she say tat girl damn gd,
nw how to control me,
not smoking, piercing or hanging out late.
fucked up mann.
then aft goin with her, i do all sorts of nonsense.
zz
oso not my mother prob.
piercing not pain de, of cos pierce marhx.
Zz.
smoking destress.
and helps forget things.
then of cos smoke.
zz.
hang out late.
cos got brothers. u can say, i take friends more important than family.
Zz.
wan disown me?
lol
i dun mind.
zz
everytime use disown to scare me.

2008-10-19T13:20:00.004+08:00

Zz.
i realise i was so damn bad.
treat ppl so badly.
:(
even lied. Zz
nvm. everythings over.
i goin be guai kia.
quit smoking, or doin things not being myself. :)
me goin be a 100% guai kia.
no more relationship.
cos i must listen to my mum, teacher.
=.=
if i really like someone. i should change to my attitude, personality.
and 我刚学会了，如果爱一个人。
我应该让他得到快乐，而不是跟他在一起。
如果他有了喜欢的人，就帮助他得到他喜欢的人。
也不会伤心，应为我可以看到你快乐。
i learnt tis from hotshot. 篮球火。:)
and definitely, will of cos hope to have her, aft O's. haha
cos nw i wan change myself with no attitude problem, or different personality.
as i dun wan hurt zha bor los.
i juz wan 疼爱her. LOL
i sure will be single till i finish my O's. :)
tiong xin nvr die. :)
wahahaha.

2008-09-20T22:02:00.005+08:00

i noe i've lied to u.
haiz.
lying is bad.
but everythings over.
and i'm thinking abt lots of things but idk why.
so i started smoking.
even though all my friends hated me when i smoke.
but they say if i feel better continue bah.
the best is smoke until die.
haha
thks reynard.
u give me lots of support by telling me super lj points and made me continue smoking.
haha.
nvm.
all is caused by me.
i'm goin to fan xing fan xing yi xia.
haha.
and i realise smoking is fun.
but i dun wan anyone to start smoking if u haven start or still is a beginner.
cos it harms ur lung.
and i lied to u tat i nvr smoke.
but pls dun ever start smoking, cos it's hard to quit.
if u juz started.
juz stop.

2008-09-18T20:16:00.003+08:00

ok i get all in point alr.
i'm better to leave.
even though both of us feel hurt.
mine is cos u hurt urself.
urs is cos i ignore u.
sorry for everything.
i had better leave it.
i dun wan to hurt u.
i've had enough being bad.
gdbye.
sorry.
and thks for ur gd friends for trying making u happy.
im world's no. 1 baddie.
nights
But I've yet to know who dumped who..
U sent me the msg, we game over our relationship..
I'm still feeling loss of u, and wanting u to be back with me..
But what's the point? U have been with so many ppl lo.. Seems tat I'm nth to u at all..
Shouldn't have loved u so deep. Tat caused me to fall really hard tat I doubt I'll be able to stand up again..
It's alr for 2 years and more, and I still rmb the times we were tgt, like as tho it happened ytd.
Aft u, I will nvr get another girl, unless thr's a miracle, tat makes my heart move.

2008-09-01T16:54:00.005+08:00

nw goin to tuition.
haha
but before goin i wan post for tis whole week.
cos i not gonna online aft tis le.
ltr aft tuition.
i nid to finish my another tuition hw.
haiz.
tis week total busy.
tmr i not very sure i gonna do wat.
but sure not goin out.
cos im attached.
and my girl dun like me goin out with other ppl.
haha
weds.
morning having basketball training.
heard tat 3n2 goin for dragonboat on tat day.
haha
aft training maybe gonna cycle or study at home againz.
lol
haha
jesmond said make mistake his dragon boat is on thurs. lol
then thurs,
still haven plan wat to do.
maybe clear my junks at home.
or do some cleaning.
haha
but should be no time to do.
cos i lazy.
and i am so goin out with my aunt. lol
fri,
my chinese birthday.
but nvr celebrate.
cos i only celebrate my el birthday.
haha
however,
i friday nid to pack my things to bring go my religious class.
then 7.30pm nid reach there. haiz
help out over there. sianz
but be gd.
cos i wan be a gd person. LoL
cos i maybe overnight there on sat.
haha
as i sat having meditating session from 1pm to 9pm
then sun is from 9am to 5pm.
long seh.
haha
but patients is there in my heart.
nw i must train my patience to tahan my baby.
cos she nid time to change for me.
and in tis time,
i cannot leave her,
but encourage.
haha
but sometimes i will think too much.
haha
maybe cos she nvr give me 安全感 bah.
haha
hope tat she wont time me.
haha
and be loyal to me.
lol
cos im alr 100% loyal to her.
haha
and i love her.
lastly,
i sat and sun not free at all.
and btw, all my religious class friends,
all say u chio leis.
lol.
oh ya,
i having tuition nw.
gotta go le.
haha
bye.
love you, the one and only, Abigail 老婆♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2008-09-01T09:10:00.002+08:00

haiz.
i dunno why i'm such a person.
but i only noe, i dun like it when u wan tell me something,
then u dun say.
but nvm.
u alr got tis habit.
sure cant change de.
yesterday,
was such a long day.
somehow oso boring.
today.
ltr still got tuition.
so sianz.
haiz.
holiday still nid study.
my parents all sibei kiasu wor.
haha.
lol

2008-08-28T21:48:00.001+08:00

so sorry for my past few days attitude problem
but i really dunno wat causes such things.
nth to say le. dots dots.
nights.
sleep well.

2008-08-28T20:53:00.002+08:00

Leona Lewis
Better In Time lyrics

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'ma be ok
[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'ma be ok
[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will
[Chorus: x2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Better In Time - Leona Lewis

"So Sick"

Mmmm mmm
yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh
Yeah
Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cause right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cause you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this(enough is enough)
No more walking round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Crying over you
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversaryI
'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be
That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone(Stupid love songs)
Don't make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio
Cause I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?(why can't I turn off the radio?)
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin' you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

so sick - ne yo

原谅我

请不要分了以后还记得亲吻过的承诺
qing bu yao fen le yi hou hai ji de qin wen guo de cheng nuo
你的永久已不属于我
ni de yong jiu yi bu shu yu wo
默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙
mo mo di tou na shi wo hen duo hua geng zai hou long
你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多
ni de xiao ni de kuai le bu shi wo ai tai duo xiang tai duo
我能感受他比我适合
wo neng gan shou ta bi wo shi he
爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手
ai fang le shou wo wei zhuang leng mo bi ni xian shuo fen shou
请原谅我原谅我不成熟
qing yuan liang wo yuan liang wo bu cheng shou
不爱你是藉口好让你离开我
bu ai ni shi jie kou hao rang ni li kai wo
请原谅我好想自私将你占有
rang yuan liang wo hao xiang zi si jiang ni zhan you
一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活
yi ge ji mo jiu gei wo cheng shou huan ni guo geng hao de sheng huo
爱过恨过哭过也笑过
ai guo hen guo ku guo ye xiao guo
亲吻过你的脆弱
qin wen guo ni de cui ruo
其实我比谁都要懦弱
qi shi wo bu shui dou yao nuo ruo
原谅我必须假装爱错
yuan liang wo bi xu jia zhuang ai cuo
别让时间倒流我怕说不出口
bie rang shi jian dao liu wo pa shuo bu chu kou
原谅我没有解释太多心痛
yuan liang wo mei you jie shi tai duo xin tong
别无所求彻底忘了我爱原来要舍得
bie wu suo qiu che di wang le wo ai yuan lai yao she de
我难过我才懂
wo nan guo wo cai dong

Yuan Liang Wo 原谅我 - Jam (Hsiao) Xiao Jing Teng

2008-08-26T21:48:00.002+08:00

today was quite a fine day.
lols
but not aft skool.
muahaha.
at first physics.
was sleeping in class.
as last night didnt slept well.
cos i injure my leg.
but nw should be ok le.
haha
then sleep until shoik shoik.
DM, came in.
he ask me, where daniel.
cos maybe daniel is the one who disturb the person in the bus.
like wat penguin say today.
but surely not daniel.
reason being= top secret. highly confidential.
cant be said.
lol
then went for el lesson.
tat ang mo.
came to teach us.
he say he gonna teach us until tis year end wor.
haha
his name is martyn fellender. lols
but he only teach on every tuesday el lesson.
haha
then go chem class,
baby keep calling me grandpa.
sian.
ok i noe love is to understand, forgive and change for the person.
then chem class.
baby keep wanting me pei her.
nvm.
haha.
but i got work to do.
aft work, i sure pei u de.
then was lit.
i nid to ask everyone to check the marks.
lol
some ppl very kpo.
everyone mark oso wan noe.
noe le so wat.
like as if u can change the fate of nw.
haha
then baby was angry.
juz becos i was close to other girls.
sorry for tat.
but nw i oso seldom talk to those girls le.
cos i noe u are jealous.
but sometimes guy oso will jealous.
but when i jealous.
i sure keep it to myself.
cos u will say i talk back.
then or say i think negative.
i dun even dare to msg any other girl except u le.
so nw u are my one and only msg recipient.
haiz.
nvm.
as long as u happy can le. u wan continue msg other guys continue bah. im not ur anything. no nid to listen to me de. cos is like i trouble u to do such thing.
i can be sad a along. i cant control u.
cos im used to it le.
麻木了。无药可救。只能在这默默等待你改变。但也不想你不快乐。
sorry
then actually got chance go senior spec course.
but lastly,
go for RSP.
haha
then aft RSP.
my tutor say got outing.
watch movie.
lol
then baby got angry.
cos i go out not with her.
then oso got some other girls.
but i dun even noe them.
and dun wan to get fresh with them.
sian.
then she sometimes oso go out. so late go home.
i nvr say anything leis.
sorry.
nvm. i should understand, forgive, forget and change for u, my baby.
then got home at 9.30pm.
i was so damn far away from any girls.
then took bus home with bc and matiin.
lol
msg baby. but she nvr reply me.
cos she having mindchamps bah.
haiz.
no gonna bath le,
but lastly got one song quite nice. lols.
name, DONT LOVE YOU NO MORE.
heard from jesmond hp.
so nice haha.

"Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)"

[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl(tell me)
OK I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long(I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
[BRIDGE]
Those simple words hit so hard
They turned my whole world upside down
Girl, you caught me completely off guard
On that night you said to me
I just don't love you no more
[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

I Just Dont Love You No More - Craig David

but tis song only nice, i not implying anything.
nights. love you, abigail baby.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2008-08-25T20:03:00.002+08:00

haizx.
i'm feeling so weird today morning.
however, i'm so cold towards her.
sorry for tat.
i juz dunno why i will think too much.
李玖哲想太多 LYRICS

你笑著說
他是朋友
但你眼中太溫柔
我的不安
那麼沉重
只有你不懂
他霸佔了
你的心中
屬於我的角落
所以你說
我們
不是你和我是我想太多
你總這樣說但你卻沒有
真的心疼我是我想太多
我也這樣說這是唯一能
安慰我的理由他霸佔了
你的心中
屬於我的角落所以
你說
我們
不是你和我是我想太多
你總這樣說但你卻沒有
真的心疼我是我想太多
我也這樣說這是唯一能
安慰我的理由我想我沒有
錯怪了什麼
雖然你不說或許錯在我
太晚我才懂
愛了你太多是我想太多
你總這樣說但你卻沒有
真的心疼我是我想太多
我也這樣說這是唯一能
安慰我的理由

then when pe, i go play basketball.
fell down.
then baby came to my rescue.
haha.
very wei qu ni le.
lol
but lastly.
thks
i love you.
mauhaha.
and my A maths got 90/100.
YaY!
lol
first time so high.
but sure got mistake de.
lol
gtg le.
nights.
muahaha

2008-08-24T21:57:00.003+08:00

today is my dad's birthday.
but i'm still so down.
haha.
nvm
i'm crazy.
it's time for me to 松手了，或者说放手。
got one sentence saying,
如果有一天我学会放弃你，不是因为我不爱你，而是因为我太爱你了。
haha
tis sentence really got the meaning in there mann.
haha.
but lastly.
happy birthday, to my father.
haha.
must be happy for him.
:D
nights

2008-08-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

hey.
thks mann.
all call me dog.
haha.
actually i got ur meaning there le.
but i dun say.
nvm.
i ren lor
since u all mouth so 'nice' smell.
then continue let me smell bah.
saying me bad things.
haizx.
tis few days isnt my day mann.
i am so damn feeling down.
haizx.
no mood to say out wat made me tis way.
but i hope i can find back the past me, in 2007.
my results were so gd.
but el lan.
nw is almost all lan.
haha
ok.
shall not blog le.
gonna sleep le.
nights.

2008-08-11T12:00:00.002+08:00

i promise u, baby.
i wont msg other girls.
but if they msg me, i reply to them.
juz normal skool things.
or if they wan me help them buy things.
i try to buy if i free or if i rmb.
i seldom go out with others le.
as i noe u hate it.
so i nowadays only go out with my family member.
if u cant come out, nvm.
and pls dun lie to ur parents.
i wan u to be gd girl.
u cant go out, then i oso dun go out.
i will be loyal to u de.
u r my one and only girl im gonna love forever.
unless u dun wan me alr.
i hope u will be happy with me.
but i alr failed to.
cos when u are with me, u are always with a black face.
and i hope u are with me not becos i always let u hit.
and 打不是代表爱。
if hit = love, then cy sure alr let hx kill le.
cos they are a perfect couple..
cy, u have alr found ur perfect gf.
hope u will cherish it :P
but for me, im not perfect, i cant ask my gf to be perfect too.
cos if i perfect, then i got the rights to ask her to be perfect.
but i noe tis world no one can be 100% perfect.
there is always smt tat everyone have done wrong.
and i wan my baby to tell me her feelings,
cos i dun wan her to hide.
but i noe its tough.
cos she dun tell her feelings through mouth.
she tell it by letter.
and whenever u study, i dun msg u,
cos i noe u wan concentrate.
i oso nvr msg other girls.
all my msg mostly is urs.
or else is guys.
unless like some girl classmate,
asking me test on wat chpt.
or asking me go qw buy things fer them,
i have got no msg tat is talking abt relation de.
im 100% loyal.
but idk u.
lastly i hope u dun keep everything to urself.
i love you, ABIGAIL BABY.

2008-08-09T21:25:00.003+08:00

haiyo.
nid blog again.
nw no quarrel le.
feelings somehow oso come back le.
but who cares.
juz continue the relationship can le.
haha.
today my 2nd month with her le.
went to vivo to watch movie.
wan watch money no enough 2
but sf.
so watch cartoon.
space chimps.
all mostly is chlidren.
so childish.
but nvm, i was the youngest there.
still not childish :P
lol
then i went to take bus to eunos.
went pass so many area.
haha
city hall lavender bedok and kallang.
but most importantly is marina there, suntec, got national day.
i only sit bus go pass.
:'(
i wan to watch.
cos got the aeroplane make heart shape.
very nice.
but only can watch it on tv.
so nvm lor.
aft tat my ah gong came home
haiz.
sure got smoking smell de.
he nw so old le, still smoke.
sianz
and oso.
next week sunday i go my cousin 21 years old bd party.
YAY !
at condo bbq leis.
so high class.
idk why i so miss abigail laopo, but i goin crazy abt her le.
hope my feelings will fade to a bit lower or i nid go imh le.
haha
night night. .
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2008-08-07T21:09:00.003+08:00

sorry.
i didnt meant to do all tis.
i hate to be ill.
i cant control my emotions.
today, even got scolded by kavitha.
cos i was noisy.
btw, samantha and nic=possible
sam and i not gonna have anything
nvm.
its my fault.
i went over board.
but nvm.
hope things would be alright tmr barhx,
sianz.
nw all ppl say i bad person.
but i was really the bad person.
hope isnt too late to realise.
i nw by saying sorry is not enough.
but nw i only got the apologetic feeling.
i did too many wrongs.
and thought tat other ppl relationship last long method into mine.
but it corrupted in my hands.
she changed for me.
but i asked for much.
i'm too much.
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
if u really cant take it i wont force u to continue tis relationship.
if u r happier without me, pls leave me.
cos i see tat when u r with me, u r always sad.
and the reason is tat, i'm not a perfect bf.
i tried to understand u,
but i cant.
and i hope u dun keep things to urself.

2008-07-31T20:24:00.004+08:00

i dunno why i become so over-sensitive by things.
everything i sure think of the negative side :'(
haizx.
hope i'll change in time.
btw, CY and HX stead le :D
their day is on the 26/07/08
haha .
tmr is hungry ghost festival le.
my favourite period of time .
cos got lots of celebration goin on around my neighbourhood.
anyway, hope cy and hx last long. or they should marry each other in future bah.
is my relation with abigail baby gonna last long?
r we gonna marry aft O's?
haizx.
nw isnt the time to stress myself with such things.
lol
but hope she will be mine 184.
haha
i love you, abigail.
muahahahahahahaha. .
i wan to last long, until i die :P

2008-07-29T20:14:00.003+08:00

sian.
morning mum took my psp away.
at first eng wee.
then nw, mum.
WTF !!!
they work tgt de argh. .
CB
then i didnt talk to abigail.
as i got nth to talk.
then she got angried.
and the same cycle goes on and on.
letter writing.
its my fault for not talking to u.
and it oso somehow hurts my heart.
but i nid to ren, control.
but ltr suzanna.
said i was too bad to her.
then i realised tat i was really too bad.
and then hong xiu told me. .
she alr willingly to change for my sake.
so dun quarrel with her with such a small thing.
if she wan do extention, then do lor.
but nature is the beauty leis.
自然是最完美的。
then ltr chuan yong oso come tell me.
the whole day let ppl say me.
then i realise i was really too bad.
a bad person. :'(
went to AMC.
mohan talk watever shit.
i still dun understand.
then i went home to put my bag.
then off i go to tanglin.
to pei abigail.
hope tat will compensate.
but it was not enough.
so if she wan me to do wat more things.
hen i try to do bah.
cos i noe i treated her so badly.
but all i have to say nw is tat,
I'M REALLY SORRY. .

2008-07-28T19:15:00.003+08:00

i hate the way i'm nw.
got such a weird feeling.
but nvm.
cos i play basketball to destress le. .
tat fucking eng wee.
take my psp .
then ppl friday take, i wait until monday which is today.
then take .
haiz.
play psp.
play play play.
i got back my psp le.
then i oso play until i like.
nw i understand wat jesmond mean by got stead stress.
but for him got ro no stead oso stress. .
juz hope i will get no more stress.
then i'll be a happy man :D
lol .
nvm .
dun wan talk crap le.
waste my time.
go play my psp le :D
then study .
haha .

2008-07-16T22:15:00.003+08:00

haiz.
no talking to some bitches le
nvm.
got girlf with me, can le.
haha
today jasmine and abi 2nd month le
then i and jasmine 1st month hpy le. .
lol
then was doin my E maths..
so easy lol
then i nvr go talk to baby.
she was so pissed off by me. .
cos the 'bitch' was talking to me.
no matter wat, i'll love you de, baby. .
and pls dun leave me. .
ok, i wont give u tat face tat u hate .
then go recess. .
bought green tea.
nvr eat again
but tis time.
baby bought food up. .
then i share with her. .
lol
so nice of her. .
haha
i love her. .
haha
hope we'll last forever. .
cos i cant afford to lose her. .
baby.
i try not to make u angry or piss off. .
sorry..
then aftnoon went to ncc..
i listen to baby .
go ncc. .
then she treat me eat .
lol
so gd :)
haha
i love you, baby. .

2008-07-16T10:21:00.003+08:00

AWAKE

With every appearance by you,
blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.And you're lying real still,
But your heart beat is fast just like mine.
And the movie's long over,
That's three that have passed,
one more's fine.Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anythingI don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,I just don't wanna miss anything.
I'm trying real hard not to shake.
I'm biting my tongue,
But I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,
I feel like I've won.
You're my key to survival.
And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you.
Just stay here.Your whispers are priceless.
Your breathe, it is dear.
So please stay near.
Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.
Say my name.
I just want to hear you.
Say my name.
So I know it's true.

You're changing me.
You're changing me.
You showed me how to live.
So just say.
So just say,
That you'll stay awake for me.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything

2008-07-15T18:52:00.003+08:00

today was mr wan teach wushu.
haiz
he teach like some movements wrong.
but we nvr say.
dun wan make him lq.
lol
then go to mr tie room to have hbl home base learning
haiyo
was social studies first.
so boring
but i finished my work
then i played around
but ltr ms lai ask me go general office take thing
it was newspaper of yesterday.
so heavy.
but nvm
then give up to the rest in class.
tis is a job for a class chairman.
so tough. haha
then go for recess.
only buy green tea to drink
played viwawa?
majong, or maybe wajong?
haiyo
real life easier to hu lor
com like nid to wait so long.
boring
then was maths
i got do my work
but mrs ng still not happy cos she say i was too close to my gf.
but i was actually picking up things from the floor.
nvr see properly, then anyhow scold me.
sobs sobs.
im so innocent.
finish all the work in skool
then come home can play com
baby came to my house to play com.
then she played my psp
cos got new game
crazy taxi.
i suck at tat game
cos i only get rank d.
so lan.
sobs sobs
but for sbk 07
i play quite gd only bah
haha. .
baby i love you.
tmr u and jasmine 2 months le
then i and jasmine one month hpy le. .
lol